


Cold as War

by ninjakitty15



Series: Immortal Peril [4]
Category: Loki - Fandom, MCU
Genre: F/M, Immortal Peril/Cold As Death series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:00:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 20
Words: 35,992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28269525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ninjakitty15/pseuds/ninjakitty15
Summary: Having survived the Snap from Thanos after being stranded on Jotunheim, Loki and Nell have since adjusted to life on the Frozen realm with Loki crowned as the Jotun King. Nell, not one for authority or politics, while still being loyal to Loki, takes her place by his side as his personal shieldmaiden rather than queen knowing the Council of the Giants would see the realm in flames before anyone not a Frost Giant takes the throne. However, it's not just the Council that the power couple have to appease, especially when they're still trying to find a way back to Earth and defeat Thanos themselves before it's too late. Other realms are uneasy about the new ruler and his lover, between Loki's well known reputation and Nell being from Earth and seen as just a mortal at first glance.Set after Infinity Wars has happened, Marvel, Sony, and Disney owns all the cool character which unfortunately includes Loki, I own Nell and any other OC and the plot.
Relationships: Loki (Marvel)/Original Female Character(s), Loki and Original Female Charater
Series: Immortal Peril [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1497122
Comments: 1
Kudos: 6





	1. Love Like Winter

It's always a trio of troubles that come our way and one would think the god of trouble would be able to handle it when it did, I mean he brags about it enough times it only seems reasonable to assume he's in his element, no big deal. But of course when you're engaged to big trouble, that only ever bigger trouble ensues that somehow is beyond his control. Somehow. For instance, three rogue necromancers we had to deal with when he first broke me out of Hydra headquarters. Then it was my ex girlfriend, her demon connection, and his pack of hellhounds, and then it was a trio of stereotypical wicked witches...and another ex girlfriend. And now here we are again, with a trio of assassins sent from the small rebel force that insists we were cause of half the Jotun population turning to dust like we wanted more trouble on our hands than just being stranded on a frozen planet that made Russia look like a summer home. Lucky for us, they weren't the first ones sent in after us so we knew how to deal with them. Seemed kind of insulting though, I mean they had to have known how powerful we both were at this point, it was no secret what I did to Loki's crazy ex and then some so you'd think they'd either send a hellova lot more people to kill us or just the best of the best with the big guns. But no, its a handful of average assassins sent to us in the dead (pun intended) of night like we'd be that vulnerable and dumb that anyone could come in and slit our throats. It's like they're not even trying! 

On the plus side, my fiance, hallowed be his name, has fully accepted his position and his heritage since somewhat settling on his throne on this realm. Tyrion Lannister would be so proud of him, he was considered a dwarf to his biological father after all and still managed to win the game of thrones despite being refused it repeatedly by everyone else but his own kind. He still preferred his more Asgardian appearance of palish skin but as long as he was king and stuck on his homeworld, he would remain a frozen N'avi minus the stripes, USB tail and CGI. Can't have everything. Rather have the leather, gold armor and red eyes over a cat face and loincloth anyway. 

I watched in the far corner of my and my fiance's bedroom under cover of darkness and dark magic making me invisible as three silent assassins slipped into the room, two for the deed and one for a lookout. I glanced at my partner, the wielder of the invisibility spell covering my existence at the moment curiously as I honestly didn't know how to feel about being assassinated and I was even more curious how he felt. I tell ya one thing though, I would absolutely suck at being an assassin, not nearly that good at being silent unless I was super pissed off beyond words and super focused which takes a lot when one has the attention span of a caffeinated squirrel. I would have to ask him later when this is all addressed and stuff, act first questions later. One would think after the first handful of failed assassination attempts on either of us, they would just stop or try something different at the very least in how to stop us or whatever, and I actually had to wonder just how intelligent Frost Giants were because here was their king the most clever being I've met thus far.

And you might argue well he grew up in a different realm raised by an entirely different race of beings from birth but I mean come on, his brother from another mother was raised the same way as him, hell, better in a lot of aspects according to Loki himself, and he was the definition of a male dumb blond that was all brawn and very little brain. I mean sure he had his moments of clarity and smarts but that was by no means a naturally and normally occurring thing for him. Asgardians weren't necessarily the smarter species here just because one Frost Giant was raised better as a prince of Asgard and not Jotunheim, considering said royalty basically taught both him and his brother to be a self hating monster. There's actually a fuckton of things Odin specifically is at fault for in his A plus parenting, don't know about Frigga as my sources on the matter are one hundred percent Momma's boys, biological and otherwise. And this is just how Asgardians are as parents, we haven't even gotten started on their politics, culture, beliefs, or monarchy. The point here is that they're just as shite at being smart, sophisticated beings whilst claiming to be so much better than us lowly Earthlings, as the beings they'd branded as big angry monsters. In conclusion, there is no better or lesser beings that I'm aware of, we all suck, we all have massive crippling flaws that will fuck us over in the long run, the only real difference here is one race can survive extreme cold and reach the highest shelves in any store without needing a boost, one race has a ridiculously long lifespan and rather than putting that to good use bettering themselves and everything around them, they instead spending most of that time beating the crap out of any other realm/race that they don't like and waging massive unneeded wars from it. And then the last race of course is just plain stupid and thus can't be trusted with a long lifespan when they can't even get along with their own country half the time let alone their own species. We're all fucked up, don't need to be a psychiatrist studying under Carl Jung to figure that out. I don't care what planet or galaxy you're from. 

Back to the smartest Frost Giant of the lot of them, he decided as both King and current target that rather than just killing our assassins where they stood in our bedroom and have one hell of a mess to clean up between the blood and bodyparts that somehow always end up scattered all over the room, we would instead see where their little secret base of operation was and weed em out there. But one simply does not walk into a rebel base. Despite the entire planet being made of snow, there's no tracks leading to the castle we were residing in from some secret underground lair of traitors to the crown. We've tried killing and then resurrecting the ones that come for us and demanding answers then but it is insanely hard to resurrect Frost Giants when half the time they disintegrate into ice shavings, I was lucky to talk to the former King who was still lingering as a spirit with unfinished business, not every dead dude lingers like that apparently. We tried keeping them alive and squeezing them for info but even Frost Giants know how to keep their mouth shut as assassins do when caught, they either bite off their tongue, sever their vocal cords or just straight up kill themselves and yeah back to the whole issue of dead snowmen are useless to me.

And that's how we ended up in an underground system of caves and tunnels within the frozen realm where apparently a rebel base was hidden after following the assassins back from their supposed successful mission of killing the king and his consort as I refused to be any part of ruling things that are neither dead nor of my realm. Politics were exhausting and I wanted no part of that mindfuckery. The assassins strolled into one cavern where a bunch of other Jotunns were talking among themselves standing over a table with a map of the realm on it, one clearing their throat to get the other's attention and everyone not the assassins turned to them. Two of the three assassins raised a hand that clutched a handful of hair with a head attached to it. The room fell silent before one such Jotun stepped forward and clapped his hands once to break the silence. 

"It is done? For good this time?"

"We slipped in, took care of the few guards stationed by them, slit their throats in their sleep and beheaded them both without any trouble or noise disturbing the castle," the one holding the king's head informed the first one that stepped forward.

"They should be so lucky they were killed in their sleep, I would've made them suffer till their last breath," spat another one of the non-assassins.

"That would've caused more trouble and commotion than a handful of elite assassins would need to get the job done and that's why we sent them and not you," the first snapped back. "If we want our realm back, we need to be careful and cunning not reckless and bloodthirsty, that's how the late King Laufey lost to the Asgardians before any of this started. We need to be better than both him and his bastard offspring if we want this realm in our hands again." The other lead rebel growled in contempt but said nor did anything further.

I glanced over at Loki curiously as we watched this from the shadows curiously, even among the rebels there was unrest and he wonders why I prefer the dead which only had two sides ever, those that were content to keep resting and those with unfinished business. If you wanted to stay rested, I wouldn't waste more effort waking you up and just focus on those that were restless, done deal. Loki nodded at me then, things were about to be a lot more restless and I sent a push of magic at the doors behind the assassins, shutting it with a bang and locking them in. Normally I would then black the place out but as Frost Giants with their bloodred eyes and sunless realm could see perfectly in the dark, that trick couldn't be used. Lucky for me, I had the Master of Tricks to help out with that. With a flick of his wrist, the dimly lit magic made lights of the room exploded, hot and blinding and when the explosion settled and the Giants' got their eyesight back what the two killers were actually holding was the heads of captured assassins before them we had previously caught, paralyzed, and disguised with Loki's illusionary magic as us then put in our place to be killed by their own comrades. 

"What have you done?" the second one hissed at the assassin that once held the king's head.

The assassin instantly dropped the new head in horror and looked around the room wildly. "You saw it the same as I did, up till now I was certain I had beheaded the king."

"You didn't think it would be that easy, did you?" Loki's voice echoed smoothly throughout the room. "I have survived far worse." The dimly lit lights blazed a brilliant bright green then and from the shadows, he appeared in all his golden godly glory.

The assassins saw him and turned to the door I already had locked shut but that's when I too appeared, standing in their way with weapons and power out in my space viking armor and furs. "Uh uh uh, not the password." Cue the appropriate battle music.


	2. Cold Blooded

You would think with the entire realm housing Frost Giants that they could easily just walk over me being all of 5'4.5" but much like most angry funsized creatures facing up something much bigger with BDE, I wasn't afraid to aim anywhere I could reach. Loki even outnumbered, was totally fine as he practically grew up beating the crap out of these Giants despite being one himself. Being the runt of this whole shit litter, I chose to aim for the legs whilst dodging low swinging blades and the occasional kick of feet. What was that old saying, the bigger they are the harder they fall? But then there's also the saying size isn't everything so why should being bigger make things harder when it's not the size, it's how you use it? Too many colloquialisms that contradict each other, like school is practice for the perfect but no one's perfect so then why practice? Then there's Tony Stark's favorite old phrase, peace is just whoever has the bigger stick. It's true enough in my experience as there is always conflict, always grudges that can't be talked out or buried, the only real and true peace that settles everything on every side is death which is usually the direct result of war so in that respect, peace is just the result of war really. As long as there's living beings with their own thoughts and will, there will be conflict because no two are alike, you're all special murderous snowflakes. Much like these giant Frosted Fucks were, believing that even though by both conquest and bloodright Loki was their king, they simply couldn't deal with it. That's why they had to die or they simply wouldn't get the peace they desperately needed. That and they kept trying to kill us and that gets tiring real fast. 

Asgardians called this bunch monsters for who knows how long but monsters is a super subjective term because it's usually described as whoever is bigger, scarier, and deadlier than the person calling them that, so why aren't we calling bears and sharks monsters? Oh right, they can't help it, it's in their nature. So by that logic, monsters are creatures that do what they do by choice not by instinct, which is rich considering just about every wicked, dangerous action humans and probably Asgardians was by choice, and seeing as they defeated the Frost Giants they should be the monsters here, not Asgardians, or more specifically since it was Odin that won the war, and this should come as no surprise, he is in fact the biggest monster till his convenient death which released another threat to the world he did absolutely nothing to prepare anyone for, he just let it happen knowing damn well what would happen once it did. Those were all choices, not instinct that drove himself, his family, his people, and his realm to ruin, all of them decided on by him. That is my thesis, monsters are the ones with the red eyes, the long claws, the sharp teeth or the frost bite touch, oh no, they're the ones with the missing eye, the bigass chair, the biggest weapons, and all the fucking secrets.

Despite their constant need to assassinate me, I sorta understood the Frost Giants, I mean aside from trying to make my world as much a frozen wasteland as their own when it was under Asgard's protection. Their world was crumbling after the war, their own, albeit rejected, prince used against them to keep the peace between them and the people that hate them, and then years after the peace has been kept this other bratty prince just burst into their realm and causes havoc despite being mercifully warned by their king to fuck off or else. And when they finally think they have the upper hand with their own monster in a coma, their own prince who was cruelly raised to hate his own kind and then later himself kills their king. That's one reason their current king decided it was better to just not hide his true nature, his true form whilst ruling, he didn't want to give them more reason to rise against him by mimicking the people that continually fuck them over. I wasn't sure who or what they associated me with in terms of realms, I was far too deathly pale to look anywhere near as sunkissed and golden haired as most Asgardians, my hair was the exact opposite color of my Asgardian counterpart Hela according to Loki. Maybe the Dark Elves? Thor described them as pretty pale and white haired though I don't know anything of their nature or their past deeds and they're even more extinct than Asgard. I'd have to bug Loki about them later.

Back to the rebel scum though, while I understood how the Giants felt about their long since endangered enemies, continually attacking, attempting to kill someone who was adamant about being nothing more than the king's consort was a bit overkill, pun intended. I'm American, I know all about politics and corrupt leaders and how male based governments view women as a whole, it wasn't just a Midgardian thing clearly. That's why I made no stance on anything royalty or council related since being stuck on this snowball, I backed Loki up when needed or asked to but voiced no opinion otherwise, just stood as his shadow, not my planet not my people, not my problem. And yet here I was still kicking ice and taking lives for it. A slash through the legs and down went my opponent to his knees which was perfect when I was too funsized to reach his vitals when he stood straight and went for the closest one, his gut, before hopping onto his back as he went down completely and lunged at the next one. They say if you're facing multiple opponents then they won't come at you one at a time, that's true if they think quantity over quality is the key to victory, they swarm if they think one on one wont be enough. They see one funsized Midgardian woman who has shown no power of any kind whether political or magical to them and think because they nearly destroyed that planet once by themselves, they can take this one human on by themselves. Cue the tentacles and deep witchy voice, you poor unfortunate souls! Though following cartoon references, if there's one thing I learned from anime because tentacle rape and gravity defying hairdos, it's if you wanna kill a giant, go for the neck. I dodged the swipes and shakes of the one I hopped on, went to his back and thrust my sword into the back of his neck. He too went down. Right, now where was the colossus one? I turned to Loki to see how he was doing and he just finished off what looked to be his third target with ease before arching an eyebrow at me.

"Showoff," I muttered, making him chuckle.

"I've been doing this since before your ancestors were born, love," he cooed back.

I rolled my eyes and flicked blue blood off my sword's blade. "Or you're just that extra that you gotta do it with flourish."

"Would you rather I do it blunt and brutal, like my oaf of a brother just smashing his way through?" he retorted.

I opened my mouth to argue but shut it because he had a point and just glared at him. "Have you even tried that?"

He gave me a bemused look in turn. "How dare you even suggest it?"

"Not a denial, how many bones did you break trying it then? One, five, all of them?" I teased.

"You're just asking to be bent over and taken till your lungs pop," he growled with a dangerously delicious glint in his eyes.

It was my turn to arch an eyebrow at him. "Didn't think I'd need to ask but bold of you to assume I need my lungs for it. Shall we?"

"Ladies first."

"Age before deathly."

"Together then," he mused, offering me a hand.

I grasped it with a smirk to match his. "Always."


	3. Check and Mate, King Me

The ones unfortunate enough to escape our wrath were promptly eaten by my lovely snow beast Snowmageddon the Last Blizzard. Curious how I somehow end up with conveniently carnivorous pets wherever I go. Once back at the capital castle we still had some hours to kill before meeting with outside realms in the hopes of collecting allies and maybe if we were lucky find a way back to Midgard as despite finally having his own kingdom, Loki was actually starting to miss land that wasn't covered in snow and ice 24/7. For a moment we were both silent as we retreated back to our bedroom, Loki already magicking off his armor in favor of his leisure green robes while I didn't have the luxury of poofing stuff off and just unclasped my fur cloak, pauldrons and scabbard belt. It was then I was spun around to face Loki who pulled me against him for a hungry snog whilst his hands quickly found their way to the latches and buckles that held any remaining though somewhat unneeded armor so I was down to my armored, fur lined bra, something I really wish was a thing back on earth as they were super comfy and had great support not to mention made me look like a warrior goddess I was meant to be, and a leather battle skirt. Loki lifted me up and carried me to the bed but set me on my feet right beside it and swiftly spun me around so my back was to him. The skirt was yanked to the floor then and a cool hand slid up my back and gently pushed forward, even when he liked it rough he wasn't forceful with me. I easily let myself bend forward and onto the bed, he didn't need to ask as he knew what I liked, there were very few things I didn't like that he did really. The hand went back down my spine, making me shutter with excitement before both hands gripped my waist also gently but firmly. One would think with the lust burning in his eyes and the way he went to work on undressing me, he would go right for the kill, but this deity had centuries of built in/up patience with all he had to endure between a monster of an adoptive father and an idiot of a brother and everything else that could go wrong for him which meant no one could tease and torment like he could. That's his thing really, everyone figures being a god of mischief and tricks meant he was a backstabbing bitch but really he just knew how to throw curveballs no one could swing at, tells you hes gonna fuck you hard and raw first chance he gets and he goes and teases you without getting more than the tip in. And people back home wondered what I saw in someone cunning and chaotic, no further questions, your honor. 

"Next time keep the cloak on," he murmured once he was completely and thoroughly done with me.

I had just enough energy left to turn my head over to look at him. "You're a furry, aren't you?"

He snorted but couldn't keep the smile hidden. "No, you just look so much more stunning in fur and armor."

"Ah that's why you kept the bra on, boots too or nah?"

Loki was quiet, considering it in his head for a moment before nodding. "Boots, bra and cloak."

"I was born in the wrong century apparently if you only want me in Viking attire."

He smirked and shrugged. "I could see you being one of hel of a shieldmaiden back then though perhaps a little bit more shrewd and less humorous without anything to reference."

I blinked, realizing that a lot of my humor came from pop culture and didn't know if that was a good thing or not. "Sarcasm and wit are ancient languages though, aren't they? I'd still have that at least."

"One can only imagine," Loki mused. "Regardless, I prefer you as you are in spirit and traits, forgive me for enjoying you even more in garbs I'm more acquainted with."

"I suppose I can forgive you just this once...but it'll cost you."

"I'm king, name your price and I'll match it tenfold."

"What if I want it elevenfold? Or twentyfold even?" My answer from him had me in violent convulsion of pleasure for good long moment. "That'll do."

He kissed me sweetly once I stopped twitching erratically. "Glad we can reach an accord."

"We will be visited by the Light Elves of Alfheim shortly, they were the first to be brought under Odin's rule with Hela and was left vulnerable when the Bifrost was first destroyed so no surprise that their alliance with Asgardians was a bit shaky," Loki later informed me as we were awaiting their ship.

"That seems to be a recurring thing with Asgard, yield now, perish later," I noted.

"Indeed, this was Odin's way and I'm sure Bor's before that. Any questions regarding our visitors before they arrive?"

"What will my role be here?"

"My consort and constant companion as always, these people are peaceful by nature so this should be a smooth transaction if any, I would be wary of their use of magic, they're exceptional wielders of it and its a different kind than my own. They'll most likely figure out what yours is all about and think you the next Hela."

I nodded in understanding. "Be vigilant but not defensive, got it."

Loki beamed at my instant learning and stood straight as it was announced the ship was about to dock. The ship itself was a sight to behold for someone that's only been on one ship in their life, sleek and shiny and the space equivalent of a luxury car, what came out of it vastly reminded me of the elves of middle earth, tall, fair skinned, pointy eared and long haired. It was practically painful to look at them like it is looking at the sun. Flanked by their own armored guards was as I understood it, the King, the Crown Prince, and the princess of the realm, the king lightly armored and more adorned in royal garb, the Crown prince the opposite where he was more armored and less royally dressed, and then of course the princess who was dressed as princesses do, all glamour and gowns. 

"I bid you welcome, King Freyr, to my kingdom," greeted Loki once they all stepped out.

The king stepped forward of the gaggle of elves and studied Loki curiously for a moment before smiling. "Thank you, King Loki, I almost didn't recognize you for a moment, it's been so long since we last met."

I arched an eyebrow at the comment and wondered if that was a side swipe neatly covered with an excuse or a genuine thing, but said nothing as that was up to Loki how to take what's served.

"Indeed it has, come let us get settled before we discuss important matter, I hope your journey here was smooth."

"But of course, not every realm needs the bifrost to travel in between."

That definitely sounded like a thinly veiled jab, must bite tongue, must remain calm.

"Glad to hear it," Loki stated, brushing the jab aside with ease. 

The Elves were shown to their chambers and seemed a bit surprised by the fact they weren't also crumbling and dilapidated like the realm had been for eons but pretty damn comfy even for royalty. Having been warned of their magic, I kept myself shielded like I did to trick the three hags into thinking I didn't exist so they couldn't size me up all sneaky and sparkly. They were given some time to settle into their chambers and a grand tour of the castle before meeting us at the grand hall for an early dinner so they could retire at their leisure for the evening after. Loki sat at his usual spot at the end of the table, I sat at one side, his most trusted councilmember at the other and the king and his two company at the other end of it facing Loki's. The king seemed to have stopped his snide comments and seemed better in light, kingly conversations but the snark apparently was a family trait as the Crown Prince Dain continued with it.

"Last we heard of you, you were Crown Prince after the destruction of Asgard with Thor being the king," Dain mused aloud. The king gave him a light but clearly ignored look of warning. 

"My dear brother was king for the short while after Odin's death that Asgard was still intact, as that's no longer the case, he has no land of his own to claim domain over. I however have claim over this realm that Thor does not." Bless that god for not looking downright smug in his answer but gracing the prince with a stiffly polite smile that dared him to challenge the rightful king.

"A son of Odin has no claim to a Jotun throne," spoke the prince.

"You are correct, that's why Thor has no claim to this one, I am not Odin's son however, so my previous statement stands firm. Thank you for your concern though."

The king of Alfheim cleared his throat awkwardly and studied Loki again though his expression seemed a little less judgy and a little more accepting if not approving of how damned diplomatic Loki was being in the face of a brattier prince than Thor probably was. Thankfully before any more questionable content was spoken, the food was served which I happily dug into, I don't care what planet it's from if its edible and tasty and free, it's good enough for me. Of course me eating like Thor after a bloody battle had to attract attention because gods forbid a lady has an appetite even if she's dead and the Crown Prince looked over at me with a gaze I was about ready to skewer with my meat knife.

"Aren't you going to introduce us to your queen?" he asked Loki.

"I certainly would if I had one," Loki replied smoothly. "This is my consort and shieldmaiden Noel."

"Just a consort?" the King spoke up suddenly and with an overly innocent tone. "Have you not found yourself a queen yet?"

Loki smiled almost slyly in turn. "I have no need for a queen, nor did my true father and predecessor Laufey before me, why should I change a regiment that doesn't suit me nor the kingdom?"

"You have no wish to rule?" the princess suddenly spoke up with a hopeful tone.

I arched my eyebrow at her actually asking me directly. "I'm not interested to put it bluntly."

That seemed to grab all three's attention at once. "You're not a Dark Elf or Asgardian."

"I'm not, funny enough."

"You're a Midgardian," the princess stated with a tone I would probably use when calling out a Yankees fan.

I had to refrain from so many sarcastic remarks and comments on that deduction in favor of not making Loki look bad by consorting with a wise cracker. "That your final answer? It's a big universe." Okay so I couldn't hold them all back, there were too many to resist. 

"I thought I had you all figured out," mused the King to Loki.

"God of tricks," Loki reminded him smugly this time. 

"And no desire to have yourself a queen at all?"

"I have her and she's made her stand, I need no more than that in the matter."

"Am I to assume you learned nothing from your mother Frigga then in what a king needs to rule his realm?"

That had me bristling almost as much as it most definitely bothered Loki, you never bring his mother into an argument against, that was a lower blow than a punch to the nuts. I gripped the hilt of my necromancy dagger in prep but watched Loki's reaction first and bless that god again for not just ripping his throat out with his bare blue hands. 

"There's a great many things I learned from my mother about ruling, one is that her voice as queen was still easily and almost always overruled by her own lifelong husband's so to me at least a queen's seat was only there for show rather than for power. As my lady doesn't want any part in ruling beside me, I feel it best for both of us not to give her something she's not comfortable with and serves little purpose in otherwise. I have no need for a queen and Noel has no need for a throne and as she's a foreigner on this realm, it suits everyone here that she not be queen." He stared down the other king, his tone final and strong and left no room for further discussion. "Surely this isn't the reason you came all this way, to discuss my choices in mates."

"Of course not, King Loki," Freyr conceded. "We came here in hopes of continuing peace between realms."

"That can be arranged then."

"Forgive an old king for seeing an opportunity to bring peace between realms the old fashioned way, as your mother and Odin did."

Loki took a moment to absorb that. "You are implying I wed your daughter as a means of peace, are you not? An arranged marriage just like Odin and Frigga?"

"That is correct."

"I must respectfully decline, there are many other ways to keep the peace without an arranged marriage, especially as I'm already betrothed to Noel and contrary to my namesake I always keep my promises."

"If that be the case then I strongly suggest you reconsider once she passes as I'm sure you'll still be king long after as they have notoriously short lifespans."

I glanced over at Loki for reassurance before given the go ahead. "Don't hold your breath on waiting for that to happen because fun fact I don't breathe myself." And that's when I felt at least one strand of magic that was most definitely not Loki's trying to slip through my safety bubble. Good luck with that, the red queen back on earth couldn't hack my mind, you ain't gonna hack my power.

"If I didn't know any better, I would've taken that as a threat against my consort's life. Thankfully I was taught as a child that Light Elves are a peaceful people so that's my mistake I suppose for being overly cautious on my betrothed's behalf. It seems however that you're consistently questioning my judgment on matters that hardly concern someone not within my inner most council if that. Consequently, as my lady has suggested, her life will almost definitely outlast my own, she is also immortal as it were as not all Midgardians are mortal, a common myth many outsiders fail to grasp. I will take no queen so if that is your only means of obtaining peace from my realm then I suggest you reconsider your methods in obtaining it from me, I'm sure Laufey wasn't questioned for not having one so that makes this whole conversation more than curious why you chose to bring it up with me instead?" Loki then folded his hands together, propped his elbows on the table and propped his chin on his folded hands, reminiscent of a praying mantis preparing to strike. 

"That's because we've never had the option of peace with this realm as Asgard protected us and kept this realm at bay, now that Asgard is no more, we must be cautious who we give our alliances to so you must understand if we need to look into every choice and every mistake you make as the leader of this realm."

"Did you do that with Odin considering how quickly you came under his ruling and his protection, did you know the secrets, the lies he harbored and the lives he reaped to keep them?" challenged Loki.

"What he did, he did for greater good of the realms including his own." Spoken like a true subject or cult follower.

"Which is exactly what I'm doing for mine, Midgard is under Thor's protection and he and I are on good terms so that alliance is already secured, Asgard and the Dark Elves are no more so that's out of the question, Niflheim is guarded by Hela once more thanks to Surtur and he got what he wanted in destroying Asgard so he's as of right now not a threat and on his own with his realm. As your realm was the first to suffer Hela's wrath in the very beginning and first to suffer after the destruction of the Bifrost and Odin's protection from that, I had hoped you would require aid once more from the void left of Asgard's fall but perhaps I was wrong in assuming so as the only way you wish to be given it is through an arranged marriage I had already turned down before peace was the reason you insisted it was for. So tell me, King Freyr am I wrong, do you not require my aid with all the attacks happening in the nine realms? Are you still a strong and independent realm despite losing half of your lifeforms?"

"What do you know about that?" demanded the king menacingly.

"I know exactly who did it and how, he is the biggest threat and it will take more than one realm of those that is left to put an end to him. He nearly killed my brother and is the main reason why I'm on this realm rather than with him now, so you could say I know a great deal about that, probably more than you do."

Rather than throwing a tantrum about being called out for not knowing the shit he was bringing up, he remained silent, absorbing the urgency and importance of Loki's answer. "Name him."

"Thanos," Loki growled. "And now I've suddenly lost my appetite, I suggest we all cool our tongue and retire for the evening, try again tomorrow at breakfast unless this is all in vain and you'd rather handle your realm your own way."

"Of course not, we shall return tomorrow morning as requested," conceded the other king.

"Excellent, then I bid you all good night." Loki stood up which prompted everyone else to as royal etiquette decreed and offered me his arm I easily snagged and followed him out without hesitation and that is how you say kiss my blue ass as king.


	4. Witches Stick Together

"I normally hate authoritative figures as a whole, but what you did back there...that was all kinds of hot which is extra impressive when one is made of frost and ice," I told Loki once we were in the privacy of our room again.

Loki chuckled. "I'm sure you find anything I do hot."

"Just take the fucking compliment, you sugar frosted blueberry."

"Well when you put it that way," he teased. "Do you think they'll come to their senses and take our offer?"

"I think they will but they'll test us first, tried to see what kind of creature I was with those magic fingers just like you told me they would, now that they know I'm not mortal they'll want to see what else I could be."

"Valid assumption, I expected this kind of inquisition from the Vanir as they're always defending themselves from something but not from Alfheim, though perhaps this is because they lost their own queen and other child to Thanos so they hold even tighter to themselves when facing a smaller band of monsters in fear of losing everything."

"We aren't monsters though, monsters don't push for peace, they either push for war or force peace in a way no one wants to have it."

Loki nodded in agreement, collapsing on a comfy chair in contemplation. "Thanos was that, he wanted peace but achieved it through war and devastation of the whole universe. Peace by force is just a quiet war really."

"You sure we need that with Alfheim though if they're already questioning your choices, choices that don't actually matter in getting peace?"

"If we want him dead, we need every last lifeforce we can get, that's something I'm sure most survivors of him can agree on, they just have to accept not all lifeforces are what they expect to get help from."

"Ignorance and assholes aren't just a Midgard thing, how extremely disappointing, I want a refund on this space adventure."

"You'll have it once we can find a way off this realm, believe me, mortals are so much easier to deal with than kings and rebels."

"That's because most of them are scared of us and can't even leave a scratch when attacking you."

"That too." Loki looked over at me then as he had been staring at the ceiling during most of the conversation and blinked in surprise. "You sly witch."

I grinned wickedly. "I put a spell on you...and now you're mine, you can't stop the things I do, I ain't lyin'!" I sang, dressed only in boots, the armored bra, and the cloak.

Breakfast seemed only a little less tense than dinner had been. I ate heartily in an effort to still my tongue the Light Elves antics and let Loki do all if not most of the talking as was his right to. 

"I will accept this offering of peace through other means as suggested," the king finally spoke up. "Though I must ask what your people think of you being betrothed to a Midgardian."

"The Council happily accepted her not having a position of power, they care not who or what I'm with as long as they don't share power if its not their own people."

"And the Volva?" asked the princess randomly.

"We foresaw our king and his beloved coming to our realm before they landed and fulfilled the prophecy we have been given and guarding," one of the high priestesses that usually accompany me at breakfast spoke up from the shadows of the far corner of the room. "Forgive me for the late entry, your highness, there was some concerning magical useage we sensed earlier that needed to be addressed."

"On the contrary, you had perfect timing on your arrival, no apologies needed," Loki assured easily. "May I introduce one of the high priestesses of the Volva, Gjalp. The Volva were the first of my people to accept both my lady and myself in this realm."

"What prophecy do you speak of, may I ask?" Dain asked slyly, foregoing formalities.

"One that has been passed since the fall of Laufey," answered Gjalp wistfully, there were two kinds of people that were masters of the vague, diplomats and prophets.

"As one seidr user to another, I'm sure you trust her judgment in what she sees and senses," Loki intervened to distract them from trying to get the actual prophecy out. "It is after all, they're most sacred duty to protect and interpret what they see, to question it would be an insult to them."

"Of course," agreed the king. "It is a relief that your realm is accepting of your arrangements. We shall commence in arrangements for peace then if your realm is as stable as it sounds."

I glanced over at Gjalp beside me and stealthily we fist bumped, a thing I taught the Volva while learning from them as well. "I owe you one."

"Nonsense, we have always supported you and will continue to do so without question or concern, you are our king's most trusted companion and if I do say so myself, a damn good adviser."

"You flatter me, and here I thought our beloved king was the only silvertongue here."

"It might just be a Jotun thing," she jested.

"I believe it. Should I be worried about this concerning magic you mentioned?"

"You already know of it, you felt it last night, did you not?"

I paused in surprise. "You felt it too? I thought it was only directed at me."

"We sense all magic that comes to our realm, sometimes even beyond that if we're fortunate enough to stretch that wide. Last night it was the prince, today however it's the king, do not drop your bubble till we can safely say they've left the realm."

"Duly noted."

After breakfast, both kings decided to talk amongst each other in private though I had a guard spy on them from a secret spot within the walls to ensure no foul play. That left the two offspring and myself to their own devices which I tried to convince myself wouldn't be a bad thing but despite growing up on disney, I still never liked nor trusted any kind of princess.

"Didn't Loki attack your realm not too long ago?" demanded the princess as I attempted to slip away from their attention.

"There's no foreseeable reason I need to explain myself nor my choices to you," I replied smugly. "What? You think I would? I don't owe you anything, you aren't the ruler of your realm or this one for that matter, you're not even the heir apparent."

"How dare you insult me like that?!"

I looked boredly at her, if she didn't watch herself she would turn into the queen of all karens. "Play stupid games, expect stupid prizes. Now if you'll excuse me, I have priestesses to see and kings to watch."

"What's so special about you then that the mystics back you up and the king keeps you by his side?"

I grinned widely, showing off interchangeable sharp teeth. "I'm just that compatible." That's when I felt it, it wasn't prodding and poking like last night, but simply laying in wait just outside my bubble, waiting like a damned snake to strike at a moment's notice, it was stronger though without even trying anything so it had to be coming from the king like Gjalp predicted. I growled under my breath as I left the princess, those royals were really testing my patience. Odin was right about one thing though, Loki was born for the throne, he was cunning, calculated, observant and lethal but he was good at doing what was actually best for his people in the long run. Or what was left of them anyway.


	5. Nothing Else Matters

"Do I resemble a dark elf?" I asked Loki once he finally finished up his "king talk" with Freyr.

Loki paused whatever he was thinking/doing and turned to look me over with an arched eyebrow. "You are aware, I'm sure as even Midgardian elves have this trait, that that requires above all other things, pointed ears, correct?"

I scowled at his complete lack of an actual answer. "Are you aware in turn that my question required a simple yes or no?"

He rolled his eyes at my response. "While I can see the skin color is close to the same tone, I don't relate you and your appearance to someone from the realm of Svaltalfheim, no one that's seen an actual Dark Elf would think for a second you're a relative of Malekith. Why do you ask?"

"They seemed surprised I came from earth, your guests and as I know I'm too short to be from a giant's realm and too pale and lithe to be from Asgard, that leaves little else to guess from."

"The Vanir are a bit more diverse but as you said so yourself, the universe is vast, there's so many other sectors to choose from. They will be our next guests, by the way, once things are completely smooth with our current ones and as my own mother came from that realm, I can absolutely assure you they will be better guests."

"You can't base an entire...species of people off of one person you know personally, that's kind of Hitler-y."

"I beg your pardon? What did you just compare me to?"

I blinked and smirked at Loki. "You shouldn't be so surprised, you did try to kick America's ass in Germany, doesn't get more Adolf than that. It's okay though, he was really the lesser of evils as Hydra pretty much outgrew and outgunned him in the end and we took care of them." I patted his cheek playfully and my wrist was snatched in an iron yet not painful grip of the unamused god in front of me.

"You're walking thin ice, love."

"We all are, this realm is one bigass snowflake and we're all Whos fearing the Grinch will steal Christmas."

"Does that make you little Cindy Lou Who then?"

I wrinkled my nose in disgust. "If you knew who the actress that played her was, you wouldn't ask, she's all grown up and looks exactly like my crazy ex you had her new plaything kill for us."

"The blood witch?"

"The very same, you do know there's a proven theory on Earth that everyone has at least two doppelgangers somewhere else on the planet? Some speculate there are four total."

"Your realm is wrought with twins I've noticed, how unoriginal and overused your genetics must be that they can no longer create a new face for every soul."

I cackled at this conclusion, twins in general gave me the creeps and certain movies only drove that nail in the coffin deeper with the concept of evil twins like the Shining and the Matrix. Then there was the times I did twins and let me tell you, it's as sexy and fun as people would have you believe when you can't tell them apart fast enough when they're rocking your world at the same time. They do not like being confused for their other half and you'd do well to remember that.

"Have you seen your own doppelganger?" Loki asked, breaking me from my thoughts.

"Impossible to tell, everyone kinda looks like this when they're dead, milky eyes, ashen skin, long white hair, before I stuck this way, I don't know what I looked like before this, my past identity is completely erased aside from important memories that led to who I am now."

"You blend in with those that you would lead, I hate to admit it, but whoever/whatever kept you in this appearance knew exactly what they were doing."

I scoffed at this. "No wonder Cro loves you, you stroke his ego as much as he does and he doesn't even have to return the favor."

"How are you so sure it was him?"

I gave him an incredulous look. "You met the wanker, no matter what end of the spectrum his people are on, all of them are obsessed with their toys and products and the majority of them never even show themselves because as much as they fuss over their things they still think they're above said things. Cro's only showed up when his things are about to get fucked up, otherwise it's every thing for themselves."

"But you're more than just something to pass the time with."

"I'm his favorite thing they all have in some form played with, they all have a hand in the grand scheme, but where they decide to lose interest, he tries a second round with."

Loki studied, searching for something though I couldn't be sure what. "You have no say in any of this?"

I shrugged. "There is nothing to say, they made me, remade me, gave me options, whatever they decide will happen, will happen. Que sera sera, what will be will be, the future is death you see, que sera sera," I sang the last bit. "This is much like one of the many debates between believers of God, did he give us our free will and let us decide for ourselves our fates or is his will being done through us and we just don't realize whatever we do is what he wants us to do? Schrodinger's God, best to just keep the box closed."

"This is something mortals disagree on, the will of their deity?"

"Sweety, you have no idea."

"I have some idea considering I was once thought of and worshipped as one myself."

"Eons ago sure, tell me, how are your monster children these days? Does Sleipnir miss his mother or his rider more?"

Loki growled at my mythological teasing and with the hand he still had in his grasp, yanked me flush against him and silenced me with a feral kiss. "Says the woman that keeps monsters as pets and has the power of my adoptive older sister. You have more in common with my mythology than I do."

"How dare you call my fur and frost baby monsters, they're sweet hungry angels and deserve your respect and cuddles!"

"I could say the same about you, woman, although at the moment I've something far less innocent in mind."

"Considering there's nothing innocent about you, that's really not that far off on the spectrum," I mused before being pinned back against a wall.

I could feel it, that tendril of magic, no matter where I went, laying in wait, not poking or prodding or testing the bubble I easily kept around me, just waiting for the single smallest moment to slip in and figure me out. If I was a living necromancer the bubble would probably at some point fade or falter as living magic was powered by one's own energy at the very base and energy didn't always come in a strong, steady supply, it needed fuel or it too would wane. That shit's exhausting. My power came from something that essentially kept me awesome and kicking, eons worth of it, so there was no short supply, and thus the bubble kept going. The only time the tendril wasn't near me was when I was in the bedroom which was of course heavily warded by Loki as well as the Volva as they adored us both and wanted us to have at least one place where we didn't need to be on guard in. They kind of reminded me of grandparents eagerly waiting for us to give them great grandkids by making sure we have the perfect little nest to pop them out in. They're going to be sorely surprised to find that my eggs are nothing but dust and black sludge like the rest of my insides. No heirs from this body. Interesting circle the Volva were, on top of magic wielders and psychics, they were also historians that claimed what Loki and I were doing, Loki moreso as it was under his rule, would be historical in not happening before. Jotunheim was always on its own as far as allies go, Asgard not only shut down their conquering but made damn sure that not only could they not go to other realms or planets to do it again but they couldn't leave their realm for anything else which really pissed me off because sure they were a dangerous and sometimes murderous race but they could and did change when given the chance so they shouldn't be shunned forever. Under Loki's reign, he strived to make his realm as strong if not stronger than Asgard had been but definitely better in policies. The realms, the ones remaining needed to be stronger regardless or Yggdrasil would start to crumble and according to Loki that's where his own power came from. Both Loki and the Light Elves and a lot of Vanir all drew power from it and it in term prolonged their lives as immortals, and then there's me who essentially drew power from death and the dead which made me wonder, if the tree fell and immortals of the tree fell with it, would that make me even more powerful from feeding on their shortened lifespan? Of course that meant Loki, the love of my afterlife would die too at some point and I can't have that no matter how delicious his soul power would be in my grasp. That power was damn near addicting simply from doing it to his ex, it was like holding a piece of the sun without the nasty side effects of it being a gas and not a solid thing and burning in its intense heat. That was something Cro didn't really keep me informed on, what would happen if I started feasting on the deaths of immortals, what would that do to me?

"The answer to that is simple, it jump starts your usually dormant powers as you witnessed against the Coven," a familiar gravelly voice stated.

I blinked out of my thoughts and realized unhappily I was fallen asleep and the sly bastard was initiating a dream-verse with me to talk. "The ones you said not to use till the end of all things?"

"Those too. On that note, when you return to Earth and don't worry about that, it's gonna happen. You'll be needed to tap into all that immediately on arrival, I know, I know, we said otherwise all those other times we shut that down with you but what's coming, what's waiting for you when you get there, you gotta come at it bazookas and grenade launchers blazing, forget guns. Unleash the hell you were reborn to raise, everything you got, don't stop, don't wait for the right moment, the second you're able to reach out with your power, do so and don't fucking stop there. Everything I taught you, every power we've been over and trained and branded in you, use them."

I stared at Cro and was actually a bit worried about what I'd be walking into but knowing him, he wouldn't tell me or that might change the outcome and I did like a surprise battle as much as the next badass. "What happened while I've been gone?"

"You know it, the universe knows it, what Loki feared so much he was willing to leave you here in hopes of saving you whilst he faced it alone, it's not over, not till you, and Loki and the idiots that think they can protect their planet because Pirate Shaft thought it was a good idea end it."

"Do I want to know who else became dust that I know?"

Cro gave me a sad look which isn't an easy or normal thing for him as being a Supreme means being above everything but yourself and that makes you either proud or numb but very rarely any other feeling. "No, you don't, it's better though because if I told you, you'd demand to end it all now and it's not the right time to believe it or not, you'd have all this rage, this need for bloodlust and no outlet as the moment to use it hasn't happened yet."

"How much longer am I gonna be stuck on Narnia then?"

"Collect as much allies willing to return to earth with you, you'll need all of them on top of your own dead army. Once everyone you can get is ready to fight for the cause and this realm is stable enough to continue to be a powerhouse that it's becoming, that's when everything else falls into place. Oh and if you're worried about what certain gods will think of you when they see what you're really capable of...don't be, he's pretty much your bitch at this point despite you being his in the bed I've noticed. He was more than prepared to die to keep you safe from his past tormentor, what you didn't know was that he had been given a choice before the attack, save his brother and die a hero or save you and only know your fate. He easily chose you over his own family, there was no doubt in his choices, there won't be in the near future."

"Why do you care what I'm worried about?"

"In case you're hesitant about stepping up to plate."

I grinned then, looking at the dreamscape he created for me which was a beautiful autumn day by the shores of Salem. It definitely wasn't just to make sure I was in it to win it but to call him out on his bullshit would probably ruin this little moment of him showing his soft gooey godly center he claimed was really just a bastard with bastard filling. Sometimes even the dark and crazy ones have a heart in all the chaos. "I'm all in, baby."


	6. Fruits of Labor

"You are gorgeous in every single fucking form you've shown me you have, some are so beautiful I literally can't stand to look at it for too long. There is literally not a bad look on you, when you're furious or murderous it just makes you that much more exciting to be with, I can't understand how you weren't the more desireable prince of the pair, I'm afraid I'll cut myself open if I touch those sharpened jawlines." Upon some insistence, I had asked if I could be the dutiful wife that clothes and arms her hubby before he faces the day and whatever comes its way, rather than him just magicking it on himself as he usually do. So naturally I gotta gush about it and boost his esteem as he dropped his Asgardian look for the Frozen Smurf he really was inside, it really wasn't fair all his forms made me weak looking at when the few other forms I could be were just scarier and scarier. I mean sure it worked in certain settings but not when its just him and me.

Loki arched an eyebrow at my last statement with a chuckle and waited till I was done dressing him in amusement before cupping my face in one hand. "As much as I love that you love my looks, it's been some time since you said so which makes me wonder why bring it up? It's not because the Light Elves, is it? I'm more than aware of their own special flawlessness they're renowned for among other traits, they appeal to me as much as their counterparts do, you're the only one I'd not grow bored looking at my whole life."

"You say that now," I muttered.

"You won't scare me off that easily, love. You could look like the chatterer, all teeth and grotesque flesh in your worst form and I'd still love you and fight beside you till the end of days."

I stared at him in awe not so much because he once more swore his loyalty to me as he unfortunately had to do once in a while, but more because the only thing more amazing than him using Midgardian references correctly, was using ones from certain genres I loved the most. "Did you just...?"

"I have such sights to show you," he growled in a damn near spot on voice of Pinhead.

"And I thought it wasn't possible to love you more," I swooned. "Be still my quivering flesh."

"Later, my love, first we secure our alliance and send them off, don't think I haven't noticed the men both trying to feel you out with their seidr."

If it was possible for me to blush, I might have out of embarrassment. "As they couldn't get past my own defenses and didn't seem terribly threatening just trying to sense me out, I figured they'd bugger off and not make a big deal about it."

"The Volva spotted it and if they do and warned you to keep your guard up, that is at least a little bit concerning for me."

I snorted in disagreement. "What would I have said? Hey, on top of them being a bunch of nosy brats questioning your every move, they're now sniffing my magic panties?"

"You and your way with words," Loki mused. "Them slipping around like that undermines me as they don't seem to think I'd notice or care when I already blatantly told them you're mine and thus not to be questioned or bothered."

"Them trying to pop my bubble is about as bothersome as a fruit fly, there's no bite or sting or even a buzzing, they're really just kinda there when they don't need to be but not doing much else."

"I feel I should remind you, you spent money back in Salem to buy a poison trap made specifically for fruit flies."

"Yeah well they were fucking around with my mangoes, and nothing gets between me and my mangoes without consequences. If it was any other fruit, I'd just let them have their share."

Loki gave me a disbelieving look. "You still should have told me, it didn't have to be an outright complaint or report, just a mention or heads up would've sufficed."

"Okay, heads up, they're being fruit flies to my lesser favored fruits."

He sighed in defeat before kissing me sweetly. "Let's get this whole ordeal out of the way then, what did the Volva tell you about them doing it."

"Don't drop the bubble till they're too far to test it, I was half tempted to spring it open as they're boarding their ship as my own personal too-da-loo, mutherfucker but that might ruin this whole alliance thing we're trying to build here."

"Wise choice."

I shrugged. "Happens sometimes, don't get used to it."

"Anything else you've not noted about our guests that I should know about?"

"You mean besides the metaphysical spying and the fact the kids are brats, yeah I'm calling bullshit on them being peaceful, they might not be sword wielding barbarians like in Asgard but the tongue is mightier than the sword in my book."

"I'm fairly certain that the phrase is pen is mightier than the sword."

"I'm fairly certain you're wrong, shut up." I stuck my tongue out at him and jumped away with a snicker. "If the Vanir are as bad or worse than these folks, I'm gonna be pissed and say we take our chances without assholes for allies."

"One realm alone won't be enough as it clearly wasn't with Midgard," Loki reminded me. "We need everyone or we die as well."

I snorted. "Not much of an improvement for me."

"It's not all about you, Nell."

"That's rich coming from you."

Loki was about to either pounce or retort when there was a brisk knock on our bedroom door and Loki was quick to answer it despite being the more sought after target of the two of us. A guard stood at the other side of it. "The king of Alfheim has finished his side of the alliance treaty for you to look over and complete at your leisure, sire." Loki thanked the guard, took the parchment and released the guard from his duty as messenger before returning to my side and opening the roll for us both to look over. "His children might be unruly but he still knows what's best at least."

"Are you sure there's no hidden passages between this realm and Earth like there was on others you mentioned?" I asked curiously.

"The one passage I've found out of this realm has been sealed off as it led to Asgard unfortunately. Are you that desperate to leave, I thought you were settling in."

"Something's about to happen, something big, something that requires us to haul ass off realm."

"How do you know?"

"Quoth the Raven."

"He appeared to you?"

I nodded silently. "We should hold a meeting with Skadi to hold down the fort for us when shit hits the fan."

"Only you would find the most suitable woman substitute in a foreign realm," Loki mused.

"Yeah well, in my defense I was left unsupervised."

"They wouldn't let me leave to look for you, it drove me mad not being able to do anything while on a bloody throne."

"You're welcome for fixing that," I teased. "Over a thousand years old, trained since birth on how to rule and fight for your kingdom and a dead Midgardian had to get you started."

Loki glowered at me before returning to the parchment once more and reading it through more thoroughly. "I'll have someone send for Skadi once these people leave while we wait for the Vanir."

"The Volva say what we're doing is making history for this realm, they've never had the other realms as allies and you're making it happen swimmingly, all in favor of showing off just how badass we are to Thor when we see him again, say aye?"

Loki laughed and agreed. "You don't think that's just a little bit immature?"

I snorted in disbelief. "Do you know who you're even talking to?"

"Fair point. What do you think his reaction will be when we return with our own army?"

I grinned as I imagined a ton of different possible reactions, all on point with how Thor was in general. "Honestly, whatever it will be, it will be worth witnessing, you've done so much more than anyone on this or the other realms could've predicted. You are a true king, one of the best I'm betting, backed by the mages and the council of this realm, which if it's like back in maybe medieval times on Earth, is not an easy feat. Kinda sounds like the Church vs close friends usually, spoiler alert, the Church usually won."

"You Midgardians are so entangled in your religions, you're practically slaves to it and aside from perhaps Asgardians, there's not been much proof any of them are true and the right one."

"It's because there's no proof that it continues to go on like it has, no one can prove there's a heaven or hell till they're already dead and dead men tell no tales, thus we can't say for sure if we're all going there or not."

"Wouldn't you know, though, how many times have you died?"

"Almost as many times as the Winchester brothers," I mused. "But my memory of the inbetween is completely wiped so I'm not exactly an expert on what lies beyond." I glanced over his shoulder at the parchment curiously only to see nothing but symbols and sigils I had absolutely no idea the meanings of, the Elves could speak my language easy enough but nothing prepared me for their writing. "Why can't I understand that?"

"Allspeak from long exposure to me is how you understand other languages of other realms, but it doesn't affect your vision so you can't read them when written." Loki read it again before nodding and signing it with just a long, sharpened nail in his true form. "They may be snide in tongue but their writing is straightforward and professional at least, everything is in order." He held the parchment up with an open hand and in a small dance of green sparks, it vanished from his hold. "Now that that's out of the way, care for some leisure sparring to pass the time?"

"Leisure to you is not leisure to me in that regard," I warned him. "But sure, was starting to worry shagging was my only outlet for frustration in being stuck here and dealing with Light privilege."


	7. One Dick to Rule Them All

One would think I would learn at this point in my afterlife not to join Loki in sparring for all the times he's kicked my ass with a flourish doing it. One would think if I learned and still did it, I had to be a masochist because the odds weren't in favor against a god of over a thousand years and most of them training to kick ass and take lives. One would think that and they'd be wrong. I loved sparring with Loki because his hottest look thus far was when he was going in for the kill, when all the pieces on the playing board were right where he wanted them to be and he had the perfect moment to strike and win. Also I learned that as hot as he was doing that, staves were overkill for him and I usually came out winded and sore afterwards and it wasn't from copious amounts of naughty time. So naturally I suggested swordsplay. To match the sword Skadi had made for me, the blacksmith had fashioned a bokken for practice purposes whereas Loki had a more traditional Asgardian style broadsword to even the playing field, that was one thing we always agreed on, whenever we sparred we sparred with the same weaponry. We stood opposite of each other in the large, dimly lit armory room, Loki back in his true blue form, red eyes practically glowing in the dark with mischief and a tiny bit of malice, wearing royal robes and leather armor only in the rare event I'd strike him hard enough with my wooden sword to hurt him. I abandoned the fur but kept most of my armor on as while being dead inside and out meant a higher tolerance for pain, that didn't mean I didn't feel it, especially when one's opponent had super strength. 

"Scared, lover?" Loki purred from his end, mockingly.

"You wish," I retorted easily then raised one hand and beckoned him to come at me.

Loki smirked, then lunged forward swinging his sword swiftly at me. 

Asgardian swords, much like European and even Chinese swords had their advantages in being both sharp and pointy, they could both stab and hack with deadly force, the Chinese jian sword was especially designed to be used like a needle in regards to stabbing with deadly precision, for references Green Destiny is a jian style sword though what it had in pin point precision, it lacked in durability and overall strength of the blade as those things could be flimsy as fuck. A katana on the other hand, while being designed primarily to hack and slash rather than stab though it could do that to, to a point, pun intended, was a damn durable blade, Japanese steel was the metal of warriors in my opinion, the art of making such a blade was a trade secret among the most respected and skill Japanese swordsmiths, they could cut through damn near anything like butter. Somehow, bless that winter wonderwoman's soul, her own swordsmiths figured out that secret and fashioned me a badass blade just like it. I know what you're thinking, silly Caucasian woman that likes to play with samurai swords, how stereotypical of a protagonist. In my defense, I had a massive and ongoing addiction to anime and Cro wanted me to learn how to fight with sharp pointy things and gave me the choice of which one to train me with. As a necromancer, I needed to at least wield my ceremonial dagger but wouldn't always be lucky to get up close and personal with my target. So swords were the next best thing no matter how old fashioned and last century they were. 

As Loki brought his sword down, at the last moment, I drew out my sword from my hip and brought it up, pointy end facing down and hilt pointing upward. Loki drew back before swiftly lunging forward again, this time my other side but was once more blocked as I twisted my sword to parry his then a dance of wooden death began between us, like something out of a Jet Li movie. The room was silent save for the shuffling of feet against the floor and the sound of wood striking wood loudly and the occasional grunt when it wasn't parried. Loki was the definition of float like a butterfly but sting like a bitch, though he probably would've gotten more hits on me if he actually used Chinese swordfighting over Asgardian, both hands on the hilt as opposed to just one for more reach and flexibility though it made it equal to my fighting method as katanas were two handed swords on principal or they lacked proper force to do the most damage. As our blades clashed for the umpteenth time, I felt a now familiar presence slither my way.

"We have an audience," I murmured quietly to Loki. "This begs the question, should I make the fall to show them who's boss or should you since I'm supposed to be your champion or something?"

Loki's sexy devious smirk faltered at my report though he didn't take his eyes off mine lest he give away that we knew they were essentially spying on our private moment and he quietly cursed in a definitely Norse tongue. "If they spy on our other intimate dance, alliance be damned their realm will have no royalty left. I'm tempted to just shroud this room in a thick fog and make an exit but they'd know it was me and see that as cowardice." He spun away from my advance as I thrust forward and lunged back quickly to be parried by me again. "We'll be at this all day."

I twisted away from his riposte and went for his head to be parried naturally. "If neither of us are getting worn down, maybe they'll just get bored and bother someone else?"

Loki smirked at my hopefulness. "Not bloody likely if they were so keenly interested on other unimportant matters pertaining to us both like why I'm with you at all."

I grumbled in unimpressed agreement. "Is there a realm that doesn't suck?"

"I'm hurt you don't like mine," he taunted back.

"Blue skin only looks good on you and while I don't generally like hot weather, I definitely don't love eternal winter either, at least in New England I get two months of the happy medium I love most." I barely dodged the sword to my own head and tried to get to his leg but was just a tad too slow or maybe too obvious as he easily danced away from my blade.

"What if I promise you Vanir will be better?" Loki offered as he aimed for my chest with just enough force that even when I parried he still slipped by just a little bit that it almost made it to my cleavage.

"I'd say prove it, you promised these people would be smooth sailing and here they are snooping on our privacy."

Loki actually had the grace to look a bit remorseful on that note. "They were when last we encountered them on Asgard."

"Well yeah, considering who was in charge of that late realm, anyone with half a brain would be giant gaping pussies to that golden dick, all but dripping to be fucked up by him."

The look Loki gave me for my impromptu, elaborate metaphor was enough to make me lose concentration laughing at his reaction and thus he got me in the side swift and easy. "Only you could make a sexual image that disturbing and unattractive."

"Opposites do attract, Silvertongue," I retorted easily. "So what do we do now? Do I take the fall, do you, do we just keep hitting each other till someone else interrupts and we pretend to call it a draw or a time out?"

"As curious as I am in who is actually the better swordsman here, since there was already so much scrutiny in my ability as king raised by in their eyes a better king, and that you're just a lowly though immortal Midgardian to them, you will have to submit."

I took in his reasoning, knowing from his tone and the lack of sparkle in his eyes that he was not okay with this choice of action as we were starting to really get into the whole who's the better fighter with a sword and nodded in agreement. "I won't make it obvious but I'm sure you'll see the opportune moment easily enough, though we should do this again when it's actually just us next time around."

The glimmer in his eyes returned then. "You were having fun too, weren't you?"

"With you, always."

Several more parries, riposts, twists, dodges, lunges, and swings and he had locked my sword and arms in his control, spun out forcing me to let go of it and held his sword at my throat though there was no sexual tension as there usually was when either of us but he moreso won, just disappointment that it was over. "Who taught you?" Loki asked me.

I just looked up quickly and quietly, there was no way in hell I was even gonna mention or speak of the higher ups with spies nearby, they deserved no answers from me.

"Wouldn't have taken you for aikido or kendo," Loki noted.

"The kind of accuracy needed for your kind of sword seems a bit too much work when swords have long since become nothing more than displays to collect dust with back home," I told him. "Much rather just lob off a limb than sever or poke it."

Loki chuckled, putting away his weapon as I did mine and donned more royal attire in place of robes and leather complete with crown before offering me his arm like the gentleman he was. As we left the room and headed down the hall, of course the prince Dane pretended to casually be looking around for us and acted like he hadn't been snooping in on our dance.

"King Freyr thanks you for sending him the agreement promptly," he announced. "We look forward to future endeavors with you and your realm." He almost sounded sincere and cordial if I hadn't noticed him side-eying me and the almost undetectable undertone of distaste towards Loki himself. "We shall be on our way shortly to tell our people the good news of our alliance."

"That is good news," agreed Loki smoothly. "I'm pleased we can come to this arrangement."

Dane gave the bare minimum of a head bow before being on his way. I glowered at his disrespect and cursed at him quietly in a non-English language myself though it wasn't Norse either, that's for damn sure. "I say we make them Light Elves the frontline against Thanos, that way when they're all slaughtered, I can still resurrect them and make em all my bitch."

"If only they were that dumb and we were that lucky," Loki quietly mused. 

"Lady Luck is one of the few ladies I've always had the hots for but always seem to miss unfortunately, the one that got away." I sighed dramatically in despair.

"Am I not enough to slake your lust?" Loki sassed.

I snorted. "Despite the similar phonetics, many would argue you are the exact opposite of being lucky."

"Who? Name these naysayers!"

"Your brother," I said in a similar fashion as one would say your mother as a sexual innuendo. "Stick that in your joint and blaze it."


	8. Season's Meetings

As promised, the royal Elves packed up and were escorted by us to their ship shortly after spying on our sparring match which made me very relieved as we formally said our adieus to them with straight faces which was probably the hardest part of watching them leave, not being glad they were leaving. Word was sent out to Skadi to discuss manning the castle when we were able to return home and then the Vanir visit after that so we had some more time to kill till any of that happened. 

"Is it because of the Midgardian holiday during the winter that you hate it so much?" asked Loki offhandedly. 

"I mean that's not my favorite holiday to begin with so that's definitely a factor, yeah," I told him.

"Could you explain to me what it's all about? The second we learned about your holidays, Thor got attached to that one so I zoned out on principle. What is the meaning of Christmas really?"

I snickered, Christmas definitely seemed like a very Thor holiday. "Vengeance! I mean presents...I suppose. Like many big holidays, its a Frankenstein's monster or mutt of different religions traditions, Halloween included. The hacked and decorated tree comes from pagan roots, the name comes from Jesus Christ and Christians will fight tooth and nail to claim it's a celebration of Christ's birth which is why there's a star or angel at the top of the tree, as that's what they claim was the guide to his birthplace. There are a fuckton of other, smaller religions that have some kind of version of Santa Claus incorporated in the holiday and each of those Clauses have their own methods of visiting and giving, personally I favor the legend of Krampus over Santa."

"The demon that goes after bad kids?"

"The one and only, because let's face it, no kid can really be good all year long, so at what point in time do they decide they should be good and not get coal in their stockings, a kid could be good for like the month of Christmas and they'd probably get some presents but could be total brats after and before the month and they wouldn't learn a damn thing about just being good because it's all about that one special month to them. But then there's Krampus right, comes during the night with chains, a sack, sometimes a stick to beat the brat out of kids in some versions, kids pay attention to fear more than they'll pay attention to bribes. Fear makes you cautious, bribes make you spoiled."

"It's not just because you like horned beasts?" teased Loki.

I shrugged and winked at him. "I wouldn't be surprised if you were the origin of that legend between the horns and the exceptionally long tongue."

"As similar sounding as that might be to me, of all the crimes I've been accused of, childbeating was most certainly not one of them."

"Even when they probably deserved it?"

"No one else would see it that way, trust me."

"I would."

"Your vote wouldn't count on the basis that you're with me and thus biased regardless of the fact you have your own opinion."

"Fuck them with a fire ant covered dildo," I growled in annoyance. "What should we do in the meantime?"

Skadi was one hell of a winter woman, but ever since I convinced Loki she was on our side and could be trusted, she seemed in even better spirits and somehow better attire than when I first met her after crash landing on this giant Whoville snowflake. She arrived on her snowbeast drawn chariot in battle armor, a shieldmaiden on either side of her as she entered the castle and bowed her head respectfully. The council had their suspicions about her but the Volva supported her, they just didn't have the voice to do anything about it till Loki came and listened to my reasoning. She also found it amusing that I, a funsized Midgardian betrothed to a king already, was always checking her out but in my defense I'd get a stiff neck if I tried looking beyond her boobs, she's a Frost Giantess for fucks sake. We settled in a private meeting room, Loki, Skadi, myself, Loki's most trusted councilman and Gjalp, I hung back as I usually did with Gjalp, not terribly bothered by not being too involved.

"As soon as all possible alliances have been formed, we'll start trying methods of quick and secure transport to Midgard, I'm certain that's where we'll be needed most to settle the score of the Mad Titan. However, should the transport be anything like the Bifrost, it might have to be cut short or a one way trip to conserve energy to fight which means I'll need someone to procure the throne in my absence," Loki explained. "I therefore appoint Lady Skadi as the Steward of the Throne when it's time for me to defend Midgard. Do I hear any objections from the Clans?"

"None sire, she is one of us and knows this realm and its demands quite well," the councilman told him.

"Good mages, what say you?" Loki asked Gjalp.

"You still have our support in this too."

"Then to make it official, we must all sign it in blood so there can be no dispute on one's word alone that this has been written and done willingly by all voices of the Capitol." Loki held out a hand and produced another piece of parchment as well as a dagger of his own, pricked his finger and signed his full name at the bottom of the paper before handing it to the Councilman. "Time is of the essence and thus we cannot afford to waste it while we have it. We all have a common enemy and must stand together to see it fall one last time, prove we are not the monsters Asgard would have everyone else believe us to be. We are fierce, we are strong, and we are warriors!"

All the Frost Giants in the room finished with the parchment, I didn't sign as I was neither of the realm nor royalty and I was totally okay with that too, just here to watch my man live up to his full potential, that he was meant to be a great king like he had been raised to believe since birth. 

Skadi took her leave after it was settled as she did not want to stick around when the leader of Vanaheim showed up as apparently that was her ex husband Njord, god of the seas. I glanced over at Loki curiously then as I was informed of all these relations among gods and giants and continued to wonder why he chose me, a dead chick from Midgard when he could have an actual goddess if he wanted or someone that didn't look like they crawled out of a grave. Oh sure, being a Horsemen was awesome back on Earth where it really didn't take much to scare people or at least get them off your back if you needed but offworld where no one knew what a Horsemen was even as a myth kinda takes away some of the fun of being one. Sure I was just as immortal as the rest of the realms people seem to be but as long as I came from Earth I was still an ant in a room full of boots to them.

"I know that look, I'd see it in the mirror back in Asgard most of my time there," noted Loki once we were alone again. "Don't tell me you changed your mind and want a spot on the throne, do you?"

"No, that's not an envious expression," I dismissed. "Just feeling a bit out of place and unworthy, all these mages and gods showing up and then there's me the pale pet."

For a moment, he seemed to be considering something I had said. "Take it from someone who's been told they're unworthy of something by countless others, you have nothing to prove here. Everything I do and say is always carefully and thoroughly considered before put into action, that includes who I bed, take with me into battle, and ultimately give my heart to. You are so much more to me for so many reasons than just some as you Midgardians would call a sidepiece or arm candy, take your pick. Although now I'm inclined to call you pet because you're just too cute and cuddly not to be."

I growled at his charm. "That implies I'm yours to tame and tie up."

"I recall you love being tied up by me and of course you're mine, I don't give priceless magical tracking engagement rings to just anyone. When this oncoming war is over, I intend to make you mine officially and publicly even if it's allowed."

"Why wouldn't it be allowed?"

"Because one of us is dead and doesn't exist on the realm we plan to do it on, and the other is probably still an intergalactic war criminal and illegal alien of the literal version, the odds aren't in either of our favor, pet."

I arched an eyebrow quizzically at his new petname but still let it slide because he was definitely trying to get a rise out of me. "Listen, Loki, if people back home can marry their anime printed on pillows or blow up dolls, then an alien can marry a corpse, the dead can't say no remember."

"Still with the dead jokes, after all this time?" he moaned.

"Always," I quipped.


	9. Any Way the Wind Blows

Both Light Elves and the Vanir wielded seidr, however according to Loki the Vanir were much more adept at it than the Elves. This proved true when even with my bubble covering my ass, the Vanir that visited zeroed in on me.

"A child of Hela perhaps?" Njord questioned curiously if not a little worriedly.

"Who in their right mind would fuck that damaged drama queen with daddy issues," I muttered to Loki who gave me a warning glare. "One hundred percent Midgardian actually."

"A Midgardian with that much power flowing through you? Are you, what do they call them on your realm, a mutant?"

"My power isn't genetic or a mutation in my blood either."

The sea god studied me with more curiosity than fear or distaste before nodding in supposed acceptance and turning his attention to Loki. "Thank you for inviting me here, King Loki! I had all but lost hope the remaining realms would survive the loss of Asgard and then right to hear your ship had been attacked on its way to Midgard right after...I am glad one of Asgard's princes is still pulling at the reigns."

"Still no news on my brother then," Loki noted grimly. "If anyone could've survived the attack on our ship, it was him."

"Much has been lost in these trying times, but I hope in joining forces we can fix that together and take back what's ours, am I right?"

"That is the intended goal I'm aiming for," agreed Loki eagerly. 

"I have heard rumors you have been rebuilding this realm to its former glory on top of amassing a proper army to fight the Mad Titan with, is this true?"

"A king cannot lead an army when there's no home to return to after, there's nothing to fight for then."

"Wise and powerful, now why couldn't Thor reach that?"

"Because his preferred strategy was simply conquest and bloodshed," Loki replied ruefully.

Njord chuckled. "Do you have your people's full support?"

"Both the Clans and the seers."

"You may have mine as well then, you have always been my favored of the princes, same as your mother Frigga. But humor me in how you met your betrothed, it's not often the Elves get riled up about internal affairs but they did here I'm told."

"They couldn't sense what she is and was vexed that I had already chosen someone to be mine that didn't want a seat of power and wasn't of a better realm than her own," explained Loki. "Forgive me my lack of manners, this is Noelle, my betrothed and beloved shieldmaiden of Midgard."

"Oh I'm sure you're much more than that," purred Njord to me directly and took my hand to his lips in a gentlemanly fashion.

"I'm not sure how to take that comment," I muttered.

"Unlike the Elves, I care not which realm you came from, considering my last love came from this realm which was long since thought to be home to only monsters. I'm sure you can agree with that is not the case, if I may be so bold to suggest."

I glanced at Loki again who was watching this flirtation from Njord's end with keen and curious eyes. Maybe the glorified seaman had a thing for cold women. "Monster is a term all about perception, anyone could be one, be they big or small."

"What's a monster to you then?" Njord challenged me.

"I'd say Odin was, a monster is someone that knows exactly what they're doing, what their choices will cause, knows that it's a dangerous action, and still acts upon it with little to no regret. Adolf Hitler was a monster, President Trump was one, Odin as I said as well. A monster doesn't need claws or teeth or special powers, it's actions, its disregard for life is danger enough."

Njord seemed impressed by my answer and nodded in agreement again. "You chose wisely in who you share your head and heart with, Loki. I like her."

"To answer your question, I met her while on a mission with Midgard's defenders," Loki told him. "Just like now, she and I had a common enemy but more than that, we only had eyes for each other from the moment we looked. Tis refreshing to meet someone that doesn't go straight for Thor and doesn't think me some criminal or crazed animal like so many other Midgardians do."

"What did you see then when you looked at him?" Njord asked me.

"I saw a man wearing my favorite colors in an enticing fashion with a mind as sharp as his favored weapons and a matching tongue to boot. I've been around for a long time and I've never met someone as intriguing as he was."

"Not even Thor?"

I snorted. "There are far too many men like him on my realm, more muscle than necessary with little room for brains, and I'm all about the brains." Loki of course being far too used to my antics gave me another one of those looks that stated he couldn't even with my zombie puns. 

"I look forward to fighting by your side on the upcoming battle we must all face as one. Word on the winds is you've become one of the most powerful sorcerers in the remaining of the nine realms," Njord noted.

"A great many improvements have come to me as of late," Loki replied vaguely.

Njord nodded sagely as we walked the great halls of the castle. "Tell me, Lady Noelle, how much you know of the Aesir and Vanir, I'm curious as you don't seem terribly overwhelmed by all these new developments and I'm sure traveling realms isn't on even the most exceptional Midgardian's resume."

"I know enough between what the Norse Pantheon and what Loki and Thor have explained to get by, I guess. Loki has been keen on splitting the facts from the fiction."

"Such as?"

"In the myths, Loki is Odin's brother, Freyr is Freya's brother, stuff like that."

"Do you know who I am then?"

"God of Seas and Winds if memory serves me right, former husband of Skadi who sheltered me till I found Loki when we were separated after landing here."

"Ah Skadi," Njord mused. "The finest of shieldmaidens, it pleases me you have already met her, I sense you two are much alike."

I smiled, since being stuck on here, if I wasn't having wild frosty sex with Loki or conversing and learning from the Volva, I did enjoy learning and conversing from Skadi from time to time, two snowflakes in a storm like to swarm as they say here. 

"When last I visited this realm, it looked like it was barely keeping itself together, now I find it's flourishing, the army is strong, the leader is wise, and it's no longer struggling on its own with the promise of alliances. I cannot wait to see the look on Thor's face when he hears who's the better king...assuming he survived the attack of course."

Loki was quiet and thoughtful for a second. "I think he is somehow, the Mad Titan always had one goal for as long as I've known him, cut everything in half. He thought he killed me, one Asgardian prince, to kill us both would go against his own principles. Thor had to have survived somehow, I'm sure of it."

I arched an eyebrow curiously at Loki, since we were stuck here, he didn't speak much of Thor and what happened on the ship after I blacked out, but this was the God of Lies after all, he didn't let anything show that he didn't want to and that probably included grief so for all I knew, Thor had been killed and he was secretly grieving when the others of the realm did when half the population turned to dust suddenly. I would have to ask him more thoroughly what did happen as all I could recall was a shadow falling over the ship and then I blacked out shortly after and woke up here. Of course, then there was the splitting of the universe that made me super worried about who else the Titan killed because if he wiped out Zari or Lady Catalie, then the army we were amassing and the remaining Avengers would be the least of his problems, no one fucks with my family and lives. 

"That is...promising news," Njord rectified.

I studied Njord curiously then, he looked like a dark haired, dark eyed version of Thor with the long flowy hair, beard and bulky muscle, like if the incestuous love child of both Asgardian princes almost, Loki's darkness and Thor's hair and beef. Definitely more attractive than Thor but then I always had a thing for dark deities. 

"Tell me, is it true what I've heard about how you came to power here? Both of you? That Amora was in accordance with the Coven of Thanos here and you two put an end to it?" Njord asked excitedly.

"That's putting it very mildly and quickly," I stated. "But not the first crazy blond ex we've had to deal with together so we were ready."

Loki gave me a skeptical look this time at my perky little tone of confidence. "Thank the Norns that's over and done with."

"People believed she was the most powerful sorceress for the longest time, what a shame she took such a terrible path that led to her end. To go up against not just her but the Coven though, I was informed at least one of the old hags turned to ash."

"Two out of three, figured watching her sisters incinerate was hell enough and we decided it was a good idea to show Loki's people that the threat they had been dealing with was no more with a public execution," I answered easily.

"And Amora?"

"Double penetration," I stated before I could help myself. "I ripped out her soul while Loki pierced her heart with a sword."

Njord was quiet for a moment, absorbing what we told him and focused back on me. "I see why the Elves were so eager to figure you out and I also see why you wouldn't let them, you are something to be feared when provoked, something possibly even more dangerous than Hela herself."

I shrugged lazily. "Takes more than a Fire Giant to take me down, that's for damn sure."

"Oh I'm willing to bet it takes a certain Frost Giant instead," Njord stated smoothly.

Loki seemed to bristle at the blatant remark while I just chuckled. "You wouldn't be the first to assume so," I told him honestly. 

Njord's eyebrow rose this time. "And here I thought Thor and his Midgardian would be the new power couple the realms are talking about."

"She might be a brilliant scientist but I've yet to see her have more than that as any kind of power," Loki remarked indignantly.

"I thought you liked her," I retorted.

"I did, not many mortals have the gall to slap me like she did when I first met her. However, she is still just an ordinary mortal at the end that will leave Thor heartbroken when hers come centuries before his."

I nodded in understanding. "Foolish mortals."

Njord looked from me to Loki to me again curiously with a small smirk of his own that almost rivaled Loki's. No wonder he liked Loki more than Thor. "It is refreshing to see someone so powerful not eager for a seat of power themselves, I didn't believe it at first and then I wondered if Loki had found himself a pet person rather than a beloved one to accompany him and that's why there was no queen here but clearly I was wrong on both accounts."

"I don't really need more bodies than I already rule just being me, and this is in no way my realm, the people here wouldn't want me as their queen because I'm not one of them, I'm simply the king's betrothed so everyone wins with my current position."

"That sounds rehearsed."

"You've no idea how many times I've been asked that question," I moaned. "Hell I don't even know at this point, I lost count with how tiresome it's become."

Njord had the grace to look embarrassed and scratched the back of his head. "My apologies, it's just something unheard of around these realms."

"Well now you've heard of it," I muttered. "And trust me when I say once is more than enough."

"Is it like that on Midgard?"

I snorted. "Doesn't matter what planet you're from, there's always greed and a thirst for power so no, we're kinda stupid that way."

"Only kinda?" teased Loki then.

"Who's more stupid, the idiot or the idiot that fell in love with her?" I retorted back.

Njord laughed at our playful bickering as Loki just half assed glared at me because I was able to shut him down with a customized quote from Star Wars, thank you, Obi One. "Oh I definitely like this one, Loki! Lady Sif has nothing on this hellfire."


	10. Babies, It's Cold Outside

"He's single, isn't he?" I asked Loki while he was going over royalty stuff in the council room.

Loki, being the possessive being he was even though he knew damn well where my loyalty lies, looked up sharply from his works and gave me a warning look. "Don't vex me, woman."

This just made me grin wider, it wasn't easy getting under his skin because he was after all the master of mischief, he pretty much embodied teasing and vexing, so to do it back was its own little reward for me. "That seems like a yes to me. You know, I've always had a thing with the sea...although if his preferred weapons turns out to be a trident, I'm gonna lose my shit."

"Why a trident?" Loki asked curiously then.

"Because between every other multi god pantheon and Disney, if you rule the sea you get a free trident apparently." And if you're the king of all gods, you get a free beard and sometimes you even get lightning bolts to boot, you would think with there being so many fucking gods and duties and powers between them, they wouldn't have to copy from others in other religions, that's just lazy writing. Oh and let's not forget, if you're devious you get devil horns. How fucking unimaginative is that? There can only be one horny devil in my book, gods damnit! "Am I ever gonna learn how to read your chicken scratch or just hope you'll be my interpreter whenever I need?"

Loki paused and looked up at me again. "You're bored?"

"This is why I turned down the spot of queen, politics is both boring and confusing, like math or reality TV."

"You're beginning to sound like Thor," Loki warned.

I snickered and put some of my hair over my face. "I am Thor Odinson, God of Thunder, I love everything because I am actually a golden retriever that lost his favorite chew toy! I love my brother Loki even though everything is his fault. Loki, Loki, Loki!" I bellowed in my best impression of the aforementioned god.

Loki could neither hide the amusement nor the cackle that came after from watching me intimidate his brother. "How long have you been waiting to do that?"

"Too long!" I shouted, still in character. "Longer than Mjolnir's handle!" I then proceeded to flex my arms in a show of much less impressive muscle and pretend self interest. 

"I should stop you and defend my brother's honor here...but I don't really want to," Loki noted. "If you had the power to shapeshift as I do, who would you be first?"

"I can't be an animal?" I asked back in my normal voice.

"Aren't we all animals?" he retorted. "It must be a person."

"I've already been you and that was pretty damn fun, all leather and bravado and a whole foot taller."

"Anyone else?"

I thought for a moment, having never really imagined myself being anyone but me. "Romanov maybe because damn is she hot and badass and oh the stuff I could find out just by being her in the right place. Or perhaps the President, not for the power but for the chance to fix his fuckups even just a little...or get him assassinated once I'm me again."

"Interesting choices those are, Agent Romanov is full of secrets and power on her own."

"Who have you been that I know besides me?" I countered.

"Captain Rogers comes to mind, you wouldn't know the others I don't think."

I attempted to imagine how he'd act out that even a little convincely as the two were polar opposites. "What did it feel like when you held the shield and wore the obnoxiously colored flag suit? Did you feel the righteousness surging through you?"

"You know, it felt a bit tighter than I'm used to but I definitely felt it," joked Loki.

I held a hand to my heart. "Well bless your soul, there's a glimmer of hope for you right there."

"I can assure you there isn't, as there's no way in Helheim I will ever wear those colors again for amusement alone, those are my brothers colors and unlike Midgard where parents love dressing their children up in similar fashion, that's not how things are done here."

I nodded in agreement and shuddered, knowing exactly what he was talking about with kids back home, the times I've seen siblings dressed up in similar if not identical fashion and they weren't twins of any kind, that shit ain't right. That seemed just as bad as the whole boys are blue, girls are pink thing, let them where what they want, not what you think looks cute on them. But then another thought came to me then. "Do you ever want kids...kids that have the correct amount of legs and aren't serpentine?"

Loki flicked a knife at me with such ease and confidence he didn't even look where he aimed it as it managed to miss anything important and embedded itself in the wall behind me with a few stray hairs of mine as well. That kind of precision and practice had me envisioning myself on a large spinning wheel in a circus act with an apple in my mouth and him flinging knives at me for show. "Sleipnir wasn't my actual offspring but as I raised him, I can assure you he had the right amount of legs needed to be the mount of Asgard's former king. Also give the monster children a rest, will you?"

"Hey you said that, not me, and where's the fun in that? Didn't answer my question though."

Loki was silent for a moment before looking up at me to show I had his full attention. "I have wondered what kind of parent either of us would be honestly."

"I can see you being a good dad," I told him honestly.

The look on his face hearing that damn near broke my heart, it was like the highest of praises apparently to him. "Why do you think that?"

"You've had two fathers with which to learn what not to do as one, you can only go up from there really. You also have a super soothing voice, can you imagine Thor being one? The kid would never know sleep with how fucking loud and obnoxious he is. But you, you're calm, quiet, gentle even at certain points which is exactly what's needed in raising the little maggots. And hey, if you can raise a bunch of monsters, normal kiddos should be a walk in the park for you," I teased.

The heartwrenching look of hope and adoration he was giving me easily shifted into one of bemusement. "Are you ever going to not use that a joke?"

"Maybe if it stops being funny," I offered in turn. "Wouldn't hold your breath on that one though. Sorry I can't fulfill all your wildest dreams there."

"At the moment, that's not an issue, we first have to get off this realm and back to our home and make sure it's still in one piece before we make any future plans of course. If we both decide we want children, I'm sure there's other means of obtaining one."

I snorted in disbelief at that. "Not bloody likely, we don't go around stealing the forgotten offspring of our enemies after kicking their ass like yall do in the realm eternal, that's why we have this thing called Child Protective Services."

"Can't we adopt the legal way there?"

"Neither of us exist there and to obtain said offspring, we must produce proof that we aren't a pair of murderous, bloodthirsty psychopaths which I'm sorry but that would be a lie not even you can slip under the radar."

Loki arched an eyebrow at my doubt and sighed heavily. "Remind me why we can't just steal one?"

"Because you're not your former adoptive father for one, would think that much is obvious. Only the Fae can steal children on Earth and that's because no one mutant, mortal, or otherwise ever fucks with the Fae, there is no coming back from that."

"Had dealings with them yourself have you?"

I shuddered at the mere thought of it. "I'm a necromancer, I've had dealings with just about anything supernatural, they were my least favorite. The only reason I was able to get out was because they have no real use for something dead aside from wanting my necromancy itself. Being dead is pretty much the only thing keeping me alive figuratively speaking."

"What was your most favorite supernatural encounter?"

"A bunch of space vikings that claim they're deities," I teased.

"Incorrigible woman," he growled. "I know what you Midgardians think of Vikings, if I was one of them, why haven't I burned your home to the ground, slaughtered your people, and raped you?"

"Because the place you found me in, we burned down together, my 'people' are already dead, and you can't rape the willing, check and mate, king me. The only thing missing from your stereotypical people are the longboats which Thor tells me are hoverboats back at Asgard, too bad you didn't bring that back to Earth when you settled there."

"We were lucky to leave with our lives, let alone anything extra that wouldn't be needed offworld wherever we settled. A lot of Asgardians died so that the remaining could live and escape."

I studied Loki as he didn't meet my eyes, he stared off unmoving as if reliving the last moments of Asgard before it burnt and exploded. "I bet both your fathers would be proud of you, one hated Asgard and wanted it gone (can't imagine why), the other wanted the people safe and Hela gone and you managed to do both at once, kudos."

Loki scowled at my twisted sense of compliments and shook his head at me. "I lost my home that day."

I shrugged. "If that dumpster fire of a place really made you feel that way, you managed to gain a new one after, sure it's not solid gold everything and the residents are a tad bit more fragile but we don't shun magic or call it a girl's weapon, we especially don't steal the babies of our enemies and use it as a means to an end of war. For there to be greater and better chance, you gotta lose the old way first and loss is never a smooth or pleasant transaction but it's gotta happen. As a chaos god, you of all space vikings should know that."

"What do you know of change? You're stuck in a stasis no matter how many times you're a target."

I arched an eyebrow at his attempt to deflect at me. "What you see isn't what I've always been and you know this, I had a past at one point that was wiped off in order to grow, I had a love before you that was sacrificed to move forward, I lost any kind of prior identity looks included in order to be immortal. I wasn't born white haired and glossy eyed like a stillborn, I had color, life to me that was taken so I could never die and this isn't even my final form. You think I don't know anything about change because I'm never going to age and always gonna be dead, you got another thing coming, hun, and you might not like it." I blew him a kiss and headed out of the room, not terribly bothered by his attempt to retaliate verbally but moreso just bored with the conversation. Let the god brood in his eternal darkness, I got other fish to fry and who better than the king of all fishies?


	11. Fish In The Sea

Njord was found in a training/target room throwing axes at the target rather than knives or arrows and drinking either fire wine or mead while doing it. The dude had some serious skills behind those muscles and I wondered if he would win in a fight against Thor, I'd certainly bet on him being the winner just to spite the blond asshat. Two guards watched the room and the entrances, his guards not mine and noticed me hidden in the shadows watching their king. One of them cleared their throat to grab his attention as he lifted up another ax to throw and he paused and turned in the direction of his guard who tilted his eye in my direction. He grinned then and his whole face lit up seeing me in the shadows.

"Finally tire of his company?" he teased as I stepped into the light.

"I tire of this realm if we're being honest here," I told him dryly.

"Would I be welcome in yours?"

"You looking to relocate?" I asked back smoothly. "Both Thor and Loki are welcomed there, I would assume you'd have no trouble yourself."

Njord studied me for a moment before taking another swig of his drink. "Are you?"

"It depends on where I am on my realm, people tend to react odd when they see a walking, talking corpse coming their way as if I'm the worst that's been there."

"Again, are you?"

"Not by a longshot, there are always worse things lurking in the shadows."

"What did you think of the Light Elves when they visited?"

"I thought they could take a long walk off a short pier for their unnecessary interrogation."

"They've gotten far too confident under Odin's former protection yet paranoid once he died, not a pleasant combination to deal with, that much I can tell from experience," Njord agreed. "They probably sense that you're magic but because you protected yourself from their reach, they have no idea what kind and that raises up the paranoia. You don't need to protect yourself from me and my people though, you already have our allegiance and my curiosity."

I blinked and then realized what he was saying and was glad I no longer was capable of blushing. Apparently I was still shielding myself from other magic users without realizing it. "Sorry, force of habit from others snooping too much." I let the bubble pop then and watched the sea king's reaction curiously. 

His reaction doesn't disappoint because while he was able to sense I had some kind involvement in death magic like Hela, he didn't know the full extent and now he got a taste, like a lot of the flavors La Croix claims to be, the hint of a hint of something. His eyes widen at me and he even takes a step back. "You aren't related to Hela but you're certainly Midgard's version from the feel of it."

I snorted. "Whatever you think I'll do, I won't do it because Daddy had a change of heart without me."

"Not just Thor then that you don't like, but Odin as well?" he asked curiously.

"Odin is the primary cause of one son being a dickhead and one being a war criminal, I met their mother, lovely lady, she's practically innocent here."

"I beg your pardon? You met Lady Frigga? How?"

"It's not just bodies I'm connected to with the dead, it's the ones without them too. Everyone has a few, Loki had Frigga hovering over him and Frigga assured me if I put my trust in him, he would never let me down so I did and here we are...stranded on a frozen wasteland eons from home with no way back. Thanks alot!" I snatched one of Njord's axes swiftly and chucked it at the nearest target out of sheer rage and frustration, the head so deep in the target you could only see half of it and the entire target splitting where its been buried. 

"You don't like it here?" Njord asked mockingly. "In the king's, your lover's, home realm?"

"I mean if Asgard was still around, it would probably be worse as everyone hated him and loved Thor and that stuff pisses me off to no end, that happens far too often back home and those assholes in the realm eternal think themselves so much better than us but they ain't, the only difference is the over abundance in gold and armor and the longer lifespan, big fucking deal."

Njord looked at the target I sorted ruined with the ax throwing and raises his scarred eyebrow curiously before returning his attention to me. "What else can you do?"

I grinned. "Well I can't talk to fish and ride dolphins like you can of course but if they're dead and willing, then I'm in business."

Again the scarred eyebrow was raised at me but a smile tugged at his almost completely covered by hair lips. "Lady Noelle, you are an enigma wrapped in a conundrum."

"Um...thanks?"

"Also, yes I'm not spoken for."

I blinked again and both my eyebrows shot up. "It's rude eavesdropping on other people's conversations you know."

Njord chuckled at this but shrugged easily and sipped his stein. "I might not be as paranoid as the Elves but I still need to know who I'm signing on for in this alliance, while Loki is my preferred of the princes, he can still be deceitful and devious in his schemes, not even you can tame that out of him."

"I haven't tamed a damn thing with that horned devil, I'm just along for the ride."

"I've been told you ride something must larger than him and with much more teeth or have I been misinformed?"

Who the hell has been spilling so much info on me and mine to him? "Tell me how you found out about it and I might confirm or deny these allegations."

"Oh there's many sources I get it from on top Loki speaking to me himself as kings do."

I scowled, stupid fiance gossiping about me to his fellow frat boys. I felt a great need to have a girls night with Skadi and the Volva ladies, we could move mountain ranges with our powers alone. "Do you want to meet him?"

"I love animals, so yes I absolutely would."

"Fair warning, he's not a sea beast though so brace yourself for lack of fins and flippers," I joked before heading out of the chamber. "Or gills for that matter."

Snowmageddon was in the midst of eating some kind of hideous snow creature smaller than him when I led Njord outside to Snowy's usual spot. Seeing he had company though, he dropped his half eaten food and looked at me with that excited look you couldn't see if you didn't spend a lot of time with him being a snow beast and all. Then he noticed I wasn't alone and the gleam of excitement turned to suspicion. Njord stared down the beast as it slowly lurched toward him then stopped, snapped at the air a couple times then snorted. Njord smirked at the little display and nodded in approval. 

"He lets you ride him?"

"He's also a good guard beast too, eats the bad giants that try to kill us. Isn't that right? Who's a good beasty?" I asked Snowy.

"What does he think of the king?"

"By which do you mean yourself or Loki?" Njord gave me a look that rivaled Loki's "are you being serious right now?" looks I'm constantly thrown. "The king before Loki could easily control the beasts I'm told, this one tolerates Loki enough because he knows I like Loki so he won't eat him...yet."

"Do you like him?"

"Well I'm not getting hitched for poitical reasons like I'm sure the rest of the realms tend to do, I have nothing to offer Loki besides myself alone and I want nothing from Loki besides himself. He can be a pain in the ass but then so am I most days so we balance each other out pretty well."

"He doesn't want your ability to summon an army?"

"He's got his own now and my army will only ever listen to me, not him, if he breaks my heart then he knows what's coming for him after. The dead don't take kindly to backstabbers and they listen better to those in pain than those that cause it. Pain is a damn strong connection that the dead understand despite no longer feeling any."

"Aren't you yourself dead? How would you feel pain?"

"It's complicated, I feel things, I'm just not alive so I won't be crippled by them like the rest of you are." I surveyed the land curiously, it seemed quiet, guards were of course also managing the outside of the capitol but not much activity otherwise.

"Are there other necromancers like yourself back on Midgard?"

"Theres a few necromancers scattered here and there, but none like me."

"I'm sure you know Loki is much the same, there are seidr users and other forms of magic users everywhere, but he has become the most powerful because no one can match the kind of person he is."

I smiled just thinking about it, Loki really was one of a kind in many ways. "How he was raised is partly to blame."

"I never cared much for Odin's methods in most things and I'm sure Thor would deny it to this day but I agree, his terrible choices led to one singular great one and it wasn't Thor that much is certain. I am glad there is a new ruler among the realms that knows how to properly bring peace without first beating them to submission."

"Odin's mistakes will be Loki's successes," I agreed. "And gods are there so many of them, someone should write a book on it all, it should be titled How To Royally Fuck Up a Kingdom and a Family."

"Does Thor know your views on all this?"

"He does but I don't think he knows just how deep the roots go there, claims he's trying to fix things with Loki but you can't teach an old god new tricks...unless you're the god of tricks of course."

"What new tricks have you taught that one I wonder?"

"I'd tell you but then I'd have to kill you."

Njord chuckled at this and looked out at the land of ice and snow as I did for a moment. "I bet you'd make a great queen, better than Frigga herself even."

"That poor lady, she could've gone great things if her own fucking husband didn't overshadow or silence her so much. I thought the kings of old back home were bad like that, beheading or tormenting their wives into silence, she had to endure that for eons without much relief. Watch him destroy things and people without regret or a second thought and barely heard in an attempt to fix or stop it from happening. If Loki did that to me, I'd cut off his balls with hot, rusted scissors." I beckoned the other king back into the castle as there was clearly nothing to see outside after showing him my new pet, the guards opening the doors for us as we shook off the snow from our clothes and hair that was playfully blowing and falling.

"Her death was a tragedy to not just Asgard but all the realms that knew her, when we heard our great queen had fallen under Odin's watch in his own palace, that's when we began to question our allegiance with him as we believed she would not only be safer with him but stronger as well, broke my heart how wrong we were in the end."

"Odin's real good at fooling people into thinking everything he does is righteous and for the greater good."

"There was a time people would say that about Loki."

I snorted at this. "Then that's their problem not his, Loki might be known as the god of lies and trickery, but he's more honest than Odin was, I mean it was believed he gave up an eye for wisdom back home at one point, so people there at least had the idea he was a wise king. Loki's godhood blatantly tells you what to expect of him and if he has a change of heart, that still fits his title because he's a god of tricks, so he tricked you into thinking he's a heartless person first and then did something you wouldn't expect like bring the remaining realms together. When he was captured back on Earth by the Avengers, he blatantly told them the people they work with are corrupt and more dangerous than he is, he didn't have to say anything about them, he could've left that for them to figure out too late and he'd be okay in the end as plans were already in motion for him. Odin on the other hand...he really should be the god of lies because that's all he does and not only does it bite his ass, but everyone else's that the lie affects including Frigga's."

"How long have you thought about all this?"

"Since I met him, Loki I mean. A good girlfriend does her research when she enters a relationship with a war criminal."


	12. Rainbow Power

I wouldn't personally recommend what I was doing to other people in a relationship as it can be seen as a tad bit mean and manipulative but it was something I felt needed to be done. That is, of course, putting some space between me and my fiance to have a girls day with the volva so he can brood alone or with the other king here. We also set about looking for ways to create portals to other realms and by we I meant them as I still couldn't read any of the Jotun writings.

"Loki mentioned it takes a great deal of dark energy when Thor was sent to Earth during his invasion," I noted randomly to Gjalp. "Do we know what kind?"

Gjalp was quiet in contemplation. "We must look deeper in the ancient texts of seidr and magic but I suspect you might be able to help there."

I rolled my eyes, death magic was not synonymous with dark magic, people constantly got those two mixed up just because a lot of times dark magic leads to death but death is still a completely natural thing thus being a natural magic. Kinda like saying if I live in Salem, I must be a witch because it was known for the witch trials but witches didn't actually start living in Salem till more modern times, centuries after the last innocent accused of being a witch was hung. Yes, I'm aware it's called Witch City, but not every bloody resident is a witch there. People can be so stupid jumping to the wrong conclusions because of one instance. "Loki does dark magic."

"Our king is a dark god but he wields seidr from the tree of life, that is still natural."

"Death is just as natural as life," I reminded her. "And I'm a necromancer."

She sighed in exasperation. "You are a dead immortal, explain to me how that is natural."

"A dark god wielding light magic is?"

She scowled at me knowing I got her there and went back to flipping through old texts. 

"If some ex surgeon from Midgard can make a portal, why can't we?" I muttered to myself.

"Mortal magic is different than our own, they tend to use short cuts, cheat sheets I think you call them on Midgard, some even steal magic from sources beyond natural means. If we were to try that ourselves, the results would be disastrous for both ourselves and in general," Gjalp explained.

"Stupid mortals," I grumbled.

The Volva laughed at this as it was probably a widely agreed upon conclusion from the other realms, theirs included. They were a sassy bunch of older women with as much wisdom as they had style and much like any girls day, much drinking and hair braiding was involved, which I was thankful for because I was never actually taught how to braid one's hair, I either let it down naturally or in a bun and that was about it for hairstyles. 

"What does King Loki think of your time with King Njord?" teased another Volva.

"Honey, not even he knows what he thinks half the time, how would I know what he thinks?" I asked incredulously. "Does any female know what men think here, raise your hand."

"They think of sex mostly, I'd wager," one said. "No matter the realm, it's always so painfully simple."

"Sex and violence," another agreed. "In any or many forms of both."

"Or violent sex," I mused. 

"And what is our good king like in that respect?" Gjalp asked slyly.

I shrugged, not remotely shy about my wild sex life with a dark space viking. "I have had many many lovers in my life, sometimes a little too many at once, but none of them can hold a candle to how bloody experimental Loki can be because let me tell you, if you can dream it he can be it."

"A generous lover then, that is promising. We were betting he would want to be in control all the time," the second one spoke.

"He likes to try new things as much as I do and if he always had control it would get real boring real quick."

"The Clans sometimes think you tame our king but in truth we see you do not tame but encourage or enhance him even, you may not be queen of the realm but we will follow your command if you so wish it."

"I'm honored of course but I must insist on that not happening, my dominion resides with the dead alone, I'm not designed to handle the living much less rule it."

"That is where you and your Asgardian equal Hela differentiate, she wanted dominion over all, you just take what's already been given."

I nodded in agreement. I couldn't envision myself ruling over anyone that wasn't a corpse, I was made to destroy and take from the living till there was nothing but the dead left, how could I rule people I was meant to wipe out? "I'm not the greedy type and I don't hold grudges like the living apparently do."

"Our king could not have picked a better woman to wed than you," complimented Gjalp.

"We are most fortunate you snuffed out the one woman that thought herself better than him as well, she had been a plague to our realm since she slithered into it, her and the Coven."

"She seemed perfectly horrible to me, like if you mashed Loki's worst traits with Thor's, you get her and then add some more boobage. What the hell did he see in her?"

"She played a big part in his life from what we heard when she slithered our way. While his mother taught him magic, she taught him the dark side of it as well as gave him the thirst for power, taught him manipulation while doing that to him herself, he saw another mentor while she saw a tool."

I shuddered, knowing exactly how that felt, moral of this story is don't trust powerful blondes with big boobs, it won't end well for you. "I'm guessing she slipped in here after Laufey was killed then."

"During the convergence, yes."

"Was there a steward of the throne then?"

"We believe she sought him out first and turned him into a puppet before he outlived his usefulness to her."

"How very villainous of her." Seriously, how often do you hear that exact phrase or something like that being said by a villain? You have outlived your usefulness? Good thing I ain't living because if someone said that to me I think I'd just start laughing at how horribly cliché they sounded and maybe they need to get a better script writer because come on! Being both dead and a necromancer means that not only do I not have to worry about outliving my usefulness but that people can still be useful to me after they've reached that apparent outlived line. Remember, people, always recycle, one man's corpse is another woman's soldier. "Guessing there won't be any other convergences like that anytime soon?"

"Not for probably thousands of years."

Damn, ain't nobody got time for that. So Dr. Strangelove's sparky sparky boom magic won't work for us on a portal, universal mojo won't come for thousands of years, what other kind of portal magic could there be? "Does anyone know how the Bifrost works exactly? I'm told there's a sword and a dome and something to do with a bridge? Any way to replicate it?"

The Volva laughed once more. "If it were that easy, everyone would do it."

I arched an eyebrow at their answer, why did that sound so familiar? "Well fuck!"

Girls day began to turn into girls evening between combing through the texts, drinking, and gossiping, oh and a little bit of a makeover because with the copious amounts of fire wine I got to telling my sisters from frozen misters how Loki can be as stubborn as Thor in his ways and I wanted him to suffer a little. They suggested I make him sweat when he finally sees me again.

"So Odin, right? Through some means or another, usually bloodshed and violence, brought the realms together under his rule. Most of the realms save for like Midgard obviously has some form of magic, Odin however doesn't really swing that way, he prefers muscle instead, claims its a woman's weapon like poison in Game of Thrones," I recited, going over my notes with the girls. "Why does that feel like a suspicious cover up to me?"

The Volva talked quietly amongst themselves for a moment. "Because he sees magic as a threat perhaps."

"But he uses it, he had to in order to send Thor to my realm and he's bloody married to a seidr user."

Another moment of silent contemplation among the women. "This makes sense, why didn't we see this sooner? When Laufey tried to conquer your realm, he used the Casket of Ancient Winters to do so, that was a form of magic and was a danger to any realm it was used on, when the war was ended, Odin kept it rather than destroying it which that in itself seems suspicious, why keep something that dangerous that it could potentially destroy realms?"

"To use it himself, like what he did with Loki essentially, he could've left the baby to die but he took it for himself and used it. Anything he keeps, he uses and craptastic father or not, he knows how to use them. He bound the other realms to him to use them as well, them and their magic but threw shade at them by saying magic is weak so they wouldn't try to use it on him themselves and rise up."

Another moment of silence between women. "Are you suggesting what I think you are?" asked Gjalp. 

"How much are you willing to bet if all remaining realms pitch in, we can get where we want to go?" I asked back. "Let's MLP this bitch!"


	13. Sing A Song of Sexpants

Stiff, loud banging interrupted our discussion from the outside of the chamber we were all gathered in. "Is Noelle in there with you?" a familiar voice called from the other side of the door.

"He misses you already," teased Gjalp. "What's the password, my king?"

There was a pause. "This is my kingdom and my castle, I don't need a password, I just want my betrothed."

I shook my head, just when you think he starts to get humble, the holier than thou returns in full force. "And I want off this realm, guess we can't have everything we want, huh?"

Loki cursed in a definitely not English language which for some reason made him sound even hotter to me. Might have something to do with how that silver tongue works its many talents. "I'm not going to beg you to come back to bed but do you really want to spend the night with a bunch of women over me?"

"Sweety, you know I have no real preference as long as mutual pleasure is involved when it comes to genders."

"That's true but I'm sure none of your past pleasures were nearly that old as the Volva."

Well that's just rude. "Um, you're no spring chicken yourself there, gramps."

That of course got the Volva cackling like the lovely little coven they really were. "You two are definitely our favorite couple."

I arched an eyebrow at the elder women and couldn't help but smirk at how entertaining all of this was for them. Loki on the other hand wasn't giving up so easily and continued with the muttered Norse cursing. "Come to bed with me!"

"But baby, it's cold out there," I sang back.

"I can't sleep without you."

"That seems like a you problem."

"What have I done to warrant this?"

"Besides being a moodypants again?" I asked incredulously.

"I am not a moodypants."

The funny thing about this was that, Loki no matter how much he wanted something was still super respectful of rooms and private spaces, something he did entirely thanks to Thor constantly barging into his private spaces back in the day, and also the chamber I was currently in with the Volva was a girl's only club kinda space where no man is allowed to set foot in. Granted Loki could easily just poof himself into one of his hot girl forms and get what he wants then but as he respected personal space and seidr users even more, he wouldn't stoop to his brother's level of just barging in because he was royalty. 

"I beg to dream and differ from that hollow lie," I sang back with a smirk, go green day or go home. 

"You're drunk, aren't you? You don't usually sing responses this much and of course the only times you get drunk is in the presence of other women when I'm not around, is there something you want to tell me?"

I thought about his fairly reasonable conclusion that was totally true. "Girls just wanna have fun!"

"You've gone from accursed Christmas songs to your favorite punk band to Madonna, at least stick to one genre of music while you're at it."

It sometimes surprised me how well Loki knew of pop culture on Earth, one would think with his attempted invasion that he hated the realm despite living there for a handful of years with and without me but then as a famous ten gallon hat wearing red mustachioed man once said if you can't beat em join em. Makes me wonder why Thor still couldn't keep up with us back home since he joined us from the start. "Where's the fun in that?"

"Just come back to bed, I won't judge you being drunk with the ladies."

"What's the magic word?" I sassed.

A dark chuckle was heard followed by another not English word whispered almost seductively that might as well been accio because I was suddenly on the other side of the door where Loki was waiting for me with a devious smirk that melted into one of lust and surprise at seeing my little makeover Jotun style. "By the Norns," he breathed out.

"Surprise!" I chirped smugly. "Bet you weren't expecting this, you sly devil."

Rather than give a dignified verbal answer, his response was to remain silent but throw me over his shoulder like a bloody fireman and dash me away from the room he literally summoned me out of and to probably any room he could find and seal off. "We won't get anything done if you keep this up," I mused drunkenly.

"If I keep this up?" he murmured back before finding a suitable room he magicked the door closed after entering and locked it. "As if you didn't enjoy it too?"

"Never said I did but you were the one that accioed me out of a meeting of the minds, we were onto something there before you decided you missed me." I latched onto him as I felt him start to loosen his hold on me knowing what was coming. "Nobody tosses a necromancer."

Loki chuckled at me avoiding his planned out action and gently shifted me around before setting me on a comfy cushioned surface while keeping me close to him. "And what were you onto?"

"We think we found a way to make portals, it's just a theory at least but it's better than the big steaming pile of nothing we had for who knows how long we've been stuck here."

"Is that what you've been doing all day then?" he asked in a teasing tone while raising a hand to touch the painted lines on my face.

"You smudge that and I'll break your hand," I warned. "No one's helped me with makeup since I stopped breathing, you won't ruin this for me."

Loki arched an eyebrow at my reaction as it wasn't very often I actually threatened him and meant it much less over my appearances, vanity was mostly his thing after all. "I didn't think you'd be into such things."

"I'm not...usually but tonight I am and clearly you are considering how you reacted once you got me out of the room."

"If they painted you head to toe like an Egyptian high priestess I'm going to have words with them," he muttered as his gaze dropped from my face to other parts that were covered by nothing more than leather really, their idea of course. "You remind me of an Amazonian warrior."

Despite probably killing the mood which I could easily blame on being drunk, I couldn't help but reply. "Me want snoo snoo."

"That's cute considering you're the small one about to be chained and snooed to death."

I snorted then unceremoniously. "To death you say? Boy, have I got news for you. Stop talking about taking me and just take me."

"If you insist," he purred.

Even when he was hornier than a rabbit during mating season, he still was a generous and respectful lover as after many bouts of fun my makeup was still on fleek, whatever the fuck that means. And naturally Loki was curious as to what we ladies theorized in his absence so we had another meeting where this time Loki was allowed to attend outside the ladies room in one of his own meeting rooms of course. Through notes and several ancient texts on both Odin and magics of the realms we explained how we came to the conclusion that in order to obtain our goal we needed to combine all the elements of the realms together like an Avatar or power rings to summon Captain Planet. Or Power Rangers even, why didn't we think of this sooner really, that always seems to be the answer to saving the world, combine forces and kick ass. 

"It should be doable, if this is to work, we just need the Elves to come back since we have Jotuns, King Njord, you, and myself and those are the biggest realms of magic," Loki agreed after much thought and reading himself. "We'd need the best of the realms to focus on some kind of conduit for it though. Something strong that can channel that much power through it without breaking."

I chewed my lip in thought and looked at the Volva who were whispering amongst themselves. "Whoever's using it will have to stay behind while we march through the portal too, make sure it doesn't collapse or anything." I looked over at Loki curiously. "Anything in your pocket dimension that could help with it?"

"Aside from the Casket of Ancient Winters, not that I can think of, the space stone would've but I traded that for not being throne in a glass cell again."

"Then we use the Casket?" I suggested. "It contains concentrated eons of Jotun magic, right? What else can it contain and disperse?"

Loki arched an eyebrow and looked to the elders for confirmation. "Would it work?"

"There is a reason Odin didn't destroy nor use it himself," Gjalp told him. "If it doesn't then nothing will change, we'll just be in even colder conditions that won't affect us any."

That made me shudder, I couldn't get frostbite but I still felt it and Loki was cold enough. This realm was worse than Antarctica, not even the Inuits (sorry for the political incorrectness, I don't know the right term anymore) could survive this kind of cold with all the seal fur and whale blubber they hunt. "Right then, which Elf do we need for this to work?"

Loki looked thoughtful for a second then glanced at me in an expression that was as close to apologetic as he could get. "You won't like the answer."

I tilted my head curiously wondering who it would be before realizing of the few Elves I met, only one set my teeth on edge the most and I scowled at Loki. "There's always a catch, isn't there?"

"If it were easy, everyone would do it?"

I blinked again, remembering those exact words being spoken not more than a few hours ago. "That's gotta be a Jotun thing or a seidr thing, that's creepy how you two recite that exactly the same way."

"I thought you didn't get creeped out by anything?" Loki teased.

My scowl only deepened at him as if I knew anything about that glorified smurf, it was that he loved poking holes in my logic and loved teasing me even more. "That's not a personal challenge, it was a glitch in the matrix."

"I'm the god of mischief, it's definitely a challenge to me."

I rolled my eyes at his antics and shook my head. "Down boy or no after dinner treats for you."

"You'll miss those as much as I do."

"You wanna test that theory?" I challenged with a smirk. "Go call back the Elves but warn me when they're within range so I don't get some of their sneaky seidr feelers coming at me. Should we get Njord here too? Where'd he go when we were having this meeting?"

"Already on an informal name basis with him, are you?"

I shrugged innocently. "I mean I don't really acknowledge people by their titles if it doesn't pertain to me, if I ever had the chance to meet Odin, I wouldn't call him the AllFather, I'd call him an old fart if anything, he gets none of my respect."

"Njord was pretty amused by your deep loathing of the man without even having met him, I must say."

"You must be rubbing off on me then, which you really don't need to do when I'm right here for that kind of release."

Loki arched an eyebrow at my innuendo. "Oh sure, now you're offering, a minute ago you were refusing such action. Lady Gjalp, if you could relay the message to the Elves since they respect high priestesses and seidr users the most, I'll have a guard gather Njord and as you Midgardians would say, debrief him on what we've acquired. So let it be written and done." He banged his king's staff on the floor of the meeting room to seal the transaction and the other women scattered and went about their duties. Sometimes it's good to be the king.


	14. Steamy Confrontations

I really hoped Odin could see what was going on from wherever the fuck he was, personally I hoped it was Helheim, no lying, stealing, murdering son of a Bor deserves a seat in Valhalla in my opinion. Despite the high tension between magic users of the realms left, everyone was on the same page, in alliance and it wasn't done by bloodshed, violence, and oppression. Loki was one hell of a damn good king of the realms and I would personally beat the shit out of then rip the soul out of anyone that said otherwise. Loki could deny it all he wanted but since I wasn't a queen, I was perfectly content being his bodyguard. 

"Why is a Midgardian here again? We all know that realm is one of the least magical there is," the Crown Prince Dane asked.

It was Njord that spoke before Loki even got a chance to defend me surprising everyone. "Because she's one of the most powerful Midgardians there are in existence, is Loki's love and right hand woman, and you'd do well to respect both his as well as the Volva's judgment in including her."

I looked at Njord in shock who winked at me playfully then over at Loki who looked torn between impressed another king vouched for me but a bit miffed said king beat him to the punch. "You know, I've always been drawn to the sea."

Loki of course growled at me under his breath in warning, knowing I was saying that just to rile him up for, call it payback for teasing me about him saying the same phrase the Volva said to me earlier. Njord chuckled at me lazily flirting and grinned wider still. "I'm told many of your people tend to die at sea too, that seems rather fitting for you."

"For a while people would even toss their dead in the sea as a final burying point but I think that's become illegal due to the whole rotting corpses polluting the water supply thing. Can't have everything, I guess," I half joked. 

"So all of you are in agreement she should be part of this experiment?" the prince asked in disbelief.

I turned my attention to him with the hollow eyes of someone long past their expiration date. "You're soon about to find out why, no takebacks, the alliance is official so what you'll find out you won't be able to back out of once you know."

"You and your people were completely fine with your beloved Thor running off with his Midgardian while he tried to protect the realms earlier," Loki noted. "And his Midgardian didn't have any sort of powers."

"That's because he left her on her home realm to help the others rather than bringing her along so she wasn't a problem for us," the Prince retorted.

I rubbed my temples in an attempt to not bite his head off or rip out his heart or both simultaneously. "As I'm not in a seat of power, how exactly am I a threat to you people?" I groaned.

"You hinder King Loki from finding himself an actual queen to rule with," the Prince responded smugly.

Loki stamped his staff on the ground loudly and angrily, causing all attention to fall back to him in silence. "Noelle and I are equals, she does not hold me back from anything, I do what I want and I do it all with her!"

"In more ways than one," I muttered to myself mostly though I'm sure Njord heard as he stifled a chuckle after.

"I don't want a queen, I only want her by my side and if you would be so kind as to stop with the needless inquisitions about my marital status, we can actually move on and do what I called you here to do!" Loki snapped at the Prince. "Or I could keep you here as a ward of the castle since you came here alone for your consistent mewling discontent against me."

"You'd make a decent snack for my snow beast too, no one would find your body," I offered smugly.

Njord was finding it hard to keep a straight face watching this all between Loki being a mighty, serious rain fire from the heavens king and me being the sassy side commentator backing him up happily. "I would also like to add that if that means war, either of those options they've given you, I'd happily come to their aid first, you're on their realm and showing such ill mannered disrespect for people that used to be so welcoming and accepting of change."

"So if any of you lot have anything else to say, now's the bloody time!" snarled Loki in conclusion, reminding me of a certain Japanese/American crime boss with a katana that was cut down and killed by a completely American blond with a katana.

No one, and by no one I mean the Prince said another word after that causing the rest of the lot to breathe a sigh of relief. Gjalp however stood up and stared down the Prince himself. "Let me tell you something, little man, if anyone should be wary of her, it's my people who were powerless against Amora as she used Loki when he claimed the throne, used him to gain his power and his position knowing she'd never be able to get either without him. But even without the prophecy telling us this woman here is to be not only trusted but respected, we still would've after she not only got rid of Amora but her influencers from Thanos as well. You do know who Thanos is, right? The one that wiped out half your population as well everyone else's? And you want to deny someone that turned his 'children' to ash without breaking a sweat? You will truly be on your own if you think she isn't at the very least a great asset to our mutual cause."

"My ass isn't that great, there's still a big crack down the center," I muttered, now determined to make Njord bust out in laughter.

"Don't sell yourself short, Noelle," assured Njord still trying to hide a grin.

"Kinda hard not to when I'm not even the tallest of Midgard women in a world full of giants."

"Noelle," warned Loki, obviously hearing me being a snarky wisecracker.

"Yes, my liege?" I replied smoothly.

Even Loki couldn't keep a straight face as it was super rare I even addressed him by a proper title and I loved him the most out of all the kings on all the thrones, Jon Snow included. "Do I have to pull you aside and have words with you later?"

"Is that what they're calling it here? I do love it when you play rough though, is the safety word still bananas?"

"For you, it's going to be nåde," he replied smugly, knowing how I struggled with Norse tongues.

I glared half heartedly at his cleverness. "You think you won because I can't speak your languages but the jokes on you as of the two of us only one needs to come up for air and it ain't me."

"Of course not, you wouldn't be able to when you're tied down."

"Such promises from the god of lies, but now I'm curious if that means you'll lie to me or with me in the end." We were practically on top of each other we were that close although considering he is still a giant despite being considered a runt of the litters, he was indefinitely on top of me as he liked it.

"For you alone, my love, I will lie for you and with you, always," he purred. "And everyone against us shall lie before us dead or broken."

I raised my sword above me. "Skol!"

Both Loki and Njord looked surprised at my attempt at Norse tongue. "Here's to making Jotun history," Njord told Loki. "Not even Odin in all his wisdom and triumphs even thought of these things. You might not be it officially or genetically but I see you being the new All-Father of the realms now and I mean that, I've never been so impressed by a ruler that wasn't myself."

"That...is high praise," I murmured to Loki. "Can we trade him in for Thor as Midgard's guardian? Wait, who would win do you think?"

"They might actually be evenly matched, honestly," Loki informed me. "But I'd place my bets on Njord as well, he's a king for a reason after all, many centuries of experience in both magic and combat."

"So he really is a combination of you and Thor, hot damn. Hey, Njord, what's your weapon of choice out of curiosity?"

Njord didn't get a chance to answer however and the ground beneath us suddenly shifted and one guard burst into the meeting room we were all in, out of breath with wide red eyes.

"Sire, the castle is under attack by Fire Giants!"

"What?!" bellowed Loki. "Fortify the castle with as many warriors as you see fit!" Loki summoned his battle armor instantly and looked to me. 

"I was under the impression Surtur would be content destroying Asgard," I mused.

"They know we're up to something, it seems more than convenient they'd wait till we're all here to attack. Shall we?"

"Thought you'd never ask, was starting to get bored with all these politics and meetings going on and little action outside the bedroom." Thankfully I usually wore my battle armor Skadi made for me when I landed here so I didn't need to make a pit stop to get ready. "Let's show these bitches who's the real hotties here!"

"If you ladies could escort the guests to a safe chamber away from the frontlines, please?" Loki told the Volva while offering me his arm.

The Prince of Alfheim graciously nodded in thanks while Njord shook his head. "I'm coming out there with you."

"Your people would burn my realm to the ground if you go out there and come back in pieces or ash even."

Njord scoffed at this and reached behind him, pulling from his back a spear that looked suspiciously like a harpoon of gold and metallic bone as the head, the edges jagged. "They're not Asgardians, they'd know the real cause and go after them instead."

"All right then, ladies, just escort the prince to safety, the rest of us will deal with the fire giants." He poofed me away the second I grabbed hold of his arm.

Surtur himself seemed to be a no show it seemed but there was a fuckton of other hot creatures outside the castle, including some fire beasts that looked like dragons made of stone and magna. Loki's magic swirled like a protective snake around him while he gripped his own spear of ice and metal. I wondered if I should call Snowmageddon or if he ran off seeing his mortal enemies with wings coming. 

"Where is your king? Who dares declare war on my realm?!" shouted Loki in the middle of the guard.

"Our king sleeps," one snarled. "But we know you are conspiring against us and we come to put an end to that!"

"Is that what you want or Surtur wants?" Loki snapped. "If it wasn't for me bringing him to the Eternal Flame, you wouldn't even have a king!"

"Pretty words from the God of Lies!" another hissed angrily. "No more talk, we fight and you die!"

"So be it. Ready for battle, warriors!" Loki snarled, a malicious glint in his eyes.

Finally some real action after all these talks and visitations and things that aren't what this universe is all about!


	15. Playing With Fire

Oh the battle outside is fightful, but my love is so delightful, and when the enemy comes from below, there they go, way down low, in the snow. This is what happens when you're stuck in a realm of eternal winter, it's all Christmas carols you think of in terms of songs. It should've been Norwegian metal but I honestly only started getting into that genre after meeting Loki...for reasons.

I repressed the urge to let out a battle shriek of my own, deciding I'd save that for Thanos and his children if anything and charged, summoning death magic into my limbs as one hand went to my sword at my hip right before meeting my first Fire Giant and in one fluid motion I unsheathed my sword and sliced up, blood and molten lava spurting out of the wound. I neither halted nor looked back to see my good work as there was plenty more where that giant came from and I was just itching to take a crack at em. It was well known throughout the other realms that Loki had been reigned king here so naturally they started to swarm him, if not to outright kill him then to distract while others went for the castle itself. Thankfully Loki had his guards on that for the most part while he impaled or simply froze his opponents or blasted them with magic, anytime I caught a glimpse of him spearing a giant, watching the giant slide down the spear from its own weight, I recalled one other such terrifying and victorious leader commonly known to all on Earth as Vlad Dracula III. He had the whole impaling his enemies thing plus the long hair and bloodred eyes, he could've easily passed as a vampire if he had fangs to boot. Dude was already immortal and made of dark stuff and magic. Only issue with that is, my blood is literally poison to anything that tries to drink it, even leeches or mosquitos leave me alone. A shame it wasn't also acidic or I'd have the same kind of blood as the xenomorphs in the Alien franchise. The king of Jotunheim was a force to be reckoned with and I sincerely wished it was possible to change his god title to something more fierce and less frivolous because what he was doing, slaying, defending, sweeping the battlefield, it was a sight to behold and should be recognized by all. The god of cold war maybe? God of something awesome and dangerous that's for damn sure. God of carnal dances might work, a freak in the sheets and a warrior in the streets.

I dodged a flaming sword of a Fire Giant in favor of slashing his gut with mine then thrusting it straight into him, yanking it out and slashing at the next one coming at me. Of course several more started to swarm me then and I groaned in annoyance, even with the Frost Giants around me, they were still getting the drop on me if I played fairly. I sheathed my sword with a huff, prayed I wouldn't get the world's worst burn and thrust out a skeletal hand at the nearest Fire Giant, half my body going skeletal in the process. The Giant shrieked loud and high for all around him to hear as his body went stiff and unmoving, eyes and mouth wide in inexplicable pain and horror. I grabbed a hold of his infernal soul and white hot power flooded me so quickly I had no choice but to channel it to my free hand and blast it back at any and all Fire Giants around me, fighting fire with fire like a boss. When I was a little more in control of that raw power I yanked my hand out of his chest, soul in my grasp still and he crumbled lifelessly while I used the remaining power to attack any other Fire Giants around me. Njord suddenly appeared, blasting them with his own form of magic and arched an eyebrow at me curiously.

"What the Norns did I just witness right there?"

"Me kicking ass and taking souls obviously, leave the Nards alone."

We looked around and realized there were less firelings both dead and alive on the field of snow than we first saw and regrouped with Loki who had been busy freezing the last bunch near him with the Casket of Ancient Winters or as I had decided to dub it, the CAW box.

"There's some missing entirely and I can assure you I didn't send them to the Void like I should've," Loki agreed before realization dawned on him quickly. "They've reached the palace. Back to the Castle!" he shouted at the remaining Frost warriors.

The guards shouted in agreement and we all ran back to the castle where a slew of both Frost and Fire Giant remains were creating a bit of a trail for us to follow. They were after something specific it seemed if they didn't stick around to see or attempt to see Loki dead. We decided to split up to cover more ground as there were a lot of chambers and hallways they could be, the firelings could be anywhere and everywhere within the castle. I followed the trail of the dead easily to find several more giants of both elements freshly slaughtered by each other but three Firelings going to one chamber I instantly knew what they were after. As one tore and burnt off the door to show a certain bitchass prince, sword in one hand, light magic swirling around the other, I took that moment to shove my sword through the closest of the three to me, thrust a hand into the next one quickly and blasted the third and final one with more fire power. All three fell dead at my feet before I yanked my blade out of the first I killed, flicked off the molten blood onto the floor and sheathed it fluidly while giving the prince a smug, satisfied look of triumph.

"Still think I'm some useless mortal woman?" I asked him with a smirk as he stare at me in a mix of horror and awe.

"What are you?" he breathed, trying to compose himself as he sheathed his own sword.

"Stick by my side when we face Thanos and you'll find out. Do I have your vote?"

"I'm still here, aren't I? Yes, you do, thank you for saving me there."

I nodded politely in response. 

"Noelle!" a familiar velvety voice called out.

"Over here, spanky!" I jokingly called back.

Njord beat Loki to me and was chuckling at my nickname for my fiance before seeing what had transpired moments before their arrival. "Well done, my lady. Are you well, Prince Dane?"

"Well and whole, thanks to Lady Noelle. King Loki, you have my support and aid once the war dust settles from this one," Dane told the kings.

Loki turned to me with an expression of surprise and impression. "Glad to hear it. Once everything is settled with my people, the wounded tended to and the dead grieved and well rested," Loki glanced at me sidelong at that last part. "We'll get to work making that portal to Midgard." Everything was finally starting to turn up Milhouse.


	16. Heads Will Roll

It was decided that the Frost Giants wounded in the Fire and Ice battle would be the ones to rest and protect the realm while the able bodied, unscathed warriors still frosting at the mouth for bloodshed would be the frontline along with Loki and myself, Skadi would stay as well being the steward of the throne and hold onto the CAW box to ensure the portal stayed open for all that want to cross over to do so safely. While Loki was a marvelous ruler of the realm and I'm just saying that because I love that bastard to death and back, it filled me with so much joy knowing the realm we almost called a second home would be well looked after by the best warrior women the realm if not Yggdrasil itself had to offer with both Skadi and the Volva as the leads. 

"How do I look honestly?" Loki asked me as we prepared for the first and probably only test to see if our theory on making portals worked. "First impressions are everything, even in war."

I gave my love a once over look and stroked my chin thoughtfully as if I actually needed to think about my answer when it hasn't really changed since I met him. "You still look like a glorified and now furred space viking to me," I teased, earning me an umpteenth scowl from him. "But, and it's a really nice butt, I can assure you, you've never looked more fierce and glorious than you do now, you aren't burdened with it, you rock it with style."

Loki looked back at me then, the scowl melting into an expression of adoration and pure love as he cupped my face with a gloved hand. "When this is over...when the dead are accounted for and the dust settles..."

"We'll have a proper wedding, I know, I'm still holding you to that. One that's both Midgardian and Asgardian or however you wanna add to it your own flair."

"You don't want to take over the whole ceremony and make it about you?"

"Are you trying to ask if I'm going to be a Bridezilla?"

"Well now that you mentioned it..."

"That implies I've been one before you realize and as necrophilia is considered robbing and desecrating the grave on my realm, marrying the dead is technically illegal also so yeah no one else has tried that with me. In answer to your question, no I'm not."

"But isn't the term widow or widower described as someone married to the dead?"

"That's someone who was married to another living person that has since died, but the death means they are free to marry someone else, they're just titled that because humans love labeling people to feel better about themselves. Odin would be considered a widower as he surpassed Frigga and never remarried after."

Loki nodded in understanding. "You feel warm right now, are you well?"

"You'll find out why when we do the portal run, but I'm as well as can be expected, ne'er you worry about me. Shall we?"

Loki easily offered me his arm and poof we were off like a herd of nerfs led by the late great Han Solo. "Do you have a list of people you want to invite for the ceremony?"

"The original avengers, not their friends, Scott Lang because he seems cool when he's not trying to impress anyone, Peter Parker, your brother, my coven."

"How long have you been planning this whole thing out?"

"Since I met you?" I replied innocently. "I'm a Midgardian woman, dead or not we pretty much plan these since we could walk."

"You ever imagine it being with me?"

"You mean a giant blue alien? Not really. I mean until you showed up in 2012, everyone assumed aliens were mostly little and green, or ugly, black with mandibles and acidic blood, you broke the mold on so many levels. Although the Chitauri did fit the mold on a few levels so there's that to consider."

"My love, I should remind you that you are in fact the alien here, not I, and you break the mold on mortals of Midgard just as much as you say I do."

I rolled my eyes but didn't say more as people of the realms started to gather in the large arena we had poofed to.

"The dead have been mourned, the wounded are resting and will guard this realm or their own when ready, so I ask you that stand before me now, are you ready to serve the realms one more time, no not just the realms but the universe itself, as that's what being threatened now and that's why I've asked you all here to join me. Though I am known as the God of Lies, I will be straightforward with you all and tell you from personal experience that what you will face and fight is nothing like any enemy you've fought before, they are cruel, merciless, and many and they have powers and strengths that could equal if not overwhelm our own, I alone could not fight them so I ask you now, will you fight with me? Will you protect Midgard, Yggdrasil and the universe from this Mad Titan and his followers with me?!"

"Yes, King Loki!" a general booming chorus responded from the group.

"We are not monsters of the realms, we are what monsters shall fear more! We are warriors, sorcerers, soldiers, scholars! Who's with me?!" demanded Loki.

"We are!" This time the chorus was louder and stronger than usual and I glanced over at Loki who wore a similar confused expression to my own and we both looked into the crowd that had somehow grown without anyone else walking into the clearing and that's when we saw the change, it was like swarms of bugs clustering together until it formed bodies, living, breathing and once missing bodies.

Loki, struggling to recover from the initial shock took that moment to raise the CAW box above him with both hands then lowered it and ushered the other reps of the realms forward. Around us were all the loyal and still strong and standing Frost Giants, some on their beasts similar to my own, a militia of Vanir as well as a small army of Light Elves. Loki handed the box to Skadi who stood behind him and he placed one hand on one of the sides, already in his natural form to address the armies, Njord was next and placed his hand on another side, then Dane, then Gjalp. What shot out wasn't just ice and snow like it usually was, but a blinding, blasting beam of combined power from all that touched the box. Vanir, Aesir, Frost Giant, Light Elf. It was now my time to shine and they didn't even realize I was about to hit two birds with one body, I stepped up and pressed both hands onto a side, confusing them all till I released the power I absorbed from Fire Giants souls as well as my own power into the box and the beam went from pure light to a mix of different color, one might even go as far as saying all of them like a rainbow. The sound of it was deafening before the beam seemed to split open and there it was, a portal to what had to be Earth or wherever the hell this Titan dude was waging war. As soon as I stepped toward it, I could feel it was Earth though, so many souls passed crying out to me to be wakened. Suddenly, it was like I could see again after being blinded for so long, my powers while never dampened were pretty dormant when the dead of this realm dissolved into ice and snow most of the time. But Earth's dead just rotted and slowly. Holy hell, did I miss being me. It looked like our portal was out of sight of the immediate battle already waging without us, Cro wasn't lying, everything would fall into place, this was our moment. I looked to Loki then, his expression one that would melt every single Frost Giant in the realm it was that intense and ferocious, he was out for blood and he finally caught the scent of it after years of going mad sniffing the air. He nodded at me, catching my eyes on him and I grinned maniacally and raised an arm, curious if I could call the dead from across realms and boy did I get some responses. I spoke to the restless souls that heard me first and to the human ear it would be the softest whispering, scratchy whispering if you had really really good hearing but if you were dead it was, "our worlds are under attack, there's beings here that would destroy everything you love, everything you left, and everything else you died for, who wants to change that? Who wants to fuck shit up one more time?" It was at that point when I finished speaking to them, that I got a better than verbal answer, as even more Chitauri were crawling over the Earth and attacking the Avengers, not just the recently killed ones rose up to the challenge. Loki then unsheathed his sword and pointed it toward the portal with a war cry, that was echoed by his people and those of the realm that followed his example as we all made an angry dash for the portal to Earth. Last one to Midgard is a lazy mortal!


	17. Born To Raise Hell

The second I set foot on actual earth soil, power surged into me and through me with so much raw force I was completely skeletal, this was it, I would be a full Horsemen, there was no holding back now. I didn't wear the silly hooded cloak everyone thinks Death wears when it reaps souls, no those things are impossible to walk or charge in, have you tried kicking someone's ass in a dress, it's kinda like that. I did however wear all black with a hooded trenchcoat because those things are in fact really badass looking. I let out one terrifying war cry that put that of the Nazguls to shame as it was both loud, shrill, and bloodcurdling and would set even the toughest of men into goosebumps at the very least and was answered by another that was almost like a whinny and I grinned, what's a Horsemen without a horse? If you thought it was a Walkmen, you need to get out of the 90s. White, skeletal and just as terrifying to behold was my very own made for me horse that ran to me, trampling any and all Chitauri in her way. I leapt onto her back with ease and spurred her on at the Chitauri, behind me a horde of zombies ranging from the recently killed Wakandans to just about anyone dead that wanted to fuck shit up with me. 

Loki on the other hand was on a mission in the battlefield, unlike me who just slayed like a crazed zombie queen anything in my way, he was after something or someone though didn't hesitate to kill any in his way, his eyes were constantly searching for a more preferred target. He spotted something suddenly then lunged forward and with a precision blast of magic and ice, destroyed several swarming aliens attacking someone. Several of his royal guards on either side, keeping a path clear for him while he stood over the one he apparently protected. "You once said the throne would suit me ill, brother. Of the two of us, I'd say that's you now."

"Loki?" the person breathed in a deep familiar voice.

Loki smirked at his brother as he helped him up before bellowing another war cry to encourage his people to keep fighting, showing off just how great a king he really was before continuing his hunt for the next target.

That's when something caught my eye as well, and by something I mean someone small, shiny, red, and flippy with a golden glove that had to be what everyone was trying to get. Instantly, as Peter Parkour attempted to protect the glove, far too many Chitauri swarmed him that he couldn't fend off even with his new and improved spider legs, no doubt something Tony upgraded for shits and giggles. The legs were nearly torn completely off as he clutched the glove to himself in a desperate attempt to keep hold of it while attacked. I sent as many zombies as I could to go after those Chitauri, no one beats up my spider kid but me, and was thankful even with my zombies he was finally aided by other women on the battlefield. That's when I saw an unfortunately familiar face, one I recalled seeing the one and only time I accidentally ended up in Loki's head but would never forget. I spurred my ride at the noseless dress wearing alien with all the rage of the dead, my ride trampling more Chitauri that attempted to block my path to him. He saw me charging at him and without batting an eye or changing his stoic unimpressed expression, flicked a hand that sent bladed weapons at me from fallen invaders. My horse easily dodged them without breaking stride or changing course and actually snorted in response, voicing my also unamused thoughts on the matter and making me smile, horse and horsemen were one when they ride. He then summoned what looked like either giant needed or shards of glass, really going for the whole Voldemort thing but without the wand. Thanks entirely to me being skeletal and thus not having much mass to hit, pretty much all the pointy things flew through me, a few hitting my eye sockets but those were actually small voids so they were just sucked in and useless against me. I cackled at his second failed attack before finally reaching him through the horde of Chitauri and it became a game of cat and mouse where I would swipe at him with my sword and he would move away, dodge, attempt to throw something at me with his mind and miss or have it go through me. Eventually I just got annoyed and several fallen Midgardians he had previously slain before I got to him, grabbed his legs and feet to keep him from dodging me while also distracting him before I simply ushered my horse close to him and looked down at him from where I sat.

"You are one ugly muther fucker and no one fucks with Loki but me." I shoved my sword through his gut almost to the hilt, yanked it out then sliced through his neck swift and clean. His head rolled off after, his final look one of sheer agony and horror from seeing Death itself disembowel him.

Hordes of zombies and Giants rushed at Thanos and his children as he fought against the Avengers for the glove or kept the Chitauri and children at bay at the very least so it was more of a fair fight for the Avengers. Loki had apparently found his next target and was fighting two of Thanos children at once, this big ugly brute of an alien that was about as big as the hulk with armor, and a tall lanky, decidedly female from the facial features alien with horns that were not remotely as impressive as Loki's. For a short moment, I wondered if I should help him and even the odds to two against two but that thought was nipped in the bud when he blasted the chick with the full force of his seidr and the brute with the full force of Frost Giant magic. That was his fight, I'd just make sure he wasn't interrupted by other children of Thanos or the Chitauri. Thanos of course saw me leveling the field with my zombies tearing apart his alien invaders and charged at me himself, brushing off the Avengers currently attacking him. He swung at me with his over the top double sided cleaver sword hard and fast and furiously while I parried him from my horse, my sword having been transformed into one that cuts through even adamantium, stronger than what Skadi had forged for me, the force of our blades clashing against each other causing a shock wave like if Thor's old hammer hit Captain's shield full force. He took a few steps back then lunged forward and lunged at me, hoping to strike me full force from above but my horse being just as deadly and indestructible as I was reared up on her hind legs and with her forelegs kicked the cunt in the throat away from me and that's when the Avengers took their chance to get him back. My horse snorted in disgust, echoing my thoughts on his tactics, steam and dust puffing out of its empty nose holes of its skull. Seeing Thanos was no longer my immediate problem, I looked over at Loki again to see how he was doing and he had completely frozen the brute before dodging the sickle like weapon of the female and blasted the brute ice sculpture into ice pieces so he could focus on the female alone. Loki was more than fine on his own, so I focused my aid of many on the others on our side, sending zombies to Wakandans and Avengers, pretty much anyone human or human looking considering Thor wasn't human himself. 

I made damn sure Peter was protected and not overwhelmed and then glanced back at Loki again to see him throw an ice dagger into his prey's gut as she was about to bring down her sickle on him, then another and another dagger all aimed at the same area and I knew what he was doing then. He didn't just want her to die, he wanted her to suffer, she must have been a part of the torture he endured at their hands and he was finally getting his vengeance. Blood bubbled out of her mouth as she stumbled back, lowering her weapon as one hand clutched the iced weapons still imbedded in her stomach. Loki advanced on her with sheer murder in his eyes, the likes of which I hadn't seen before. He stared her down despite being slightly shorter than her and with his Asgardian dagger, shoved the blade up her jaw and throat, out, then into her chest in quick, fluid motions. She dropped like the sack of bones and dirt she was. It was of course then that everything seemed to stop on the field and I felt myself being drawn to the reason why, my horse already taking me there without me steering her. There sat Tony, helmet off, facing down Thanos with some fancy powerful bling on one armored hand he then snapped I could see his soul start to separate from his body as the effects of that snap shot up his arm to his face. I moved to him, now unseen to everyone but Loki who was watching me since I trotted to Tony and held out a boned hand, beckoning the soul to let go. He was hesitant but gods was his soul powerful and bright especially for just your average mortal human though I wouldn't keep that power for myself, he deserved to rest. Once Peter appeared before him however, he let go of his life and floated to me as a soul and a spirit together.

"I'm ready to die," he whispered to me. "I'm glad you two could get back in time, we were convinced you both died."

"You can't tell from the lack of skin, muscles, and pretty much everything that makes up a human body besides the bones, but I'm smiling. Why are you not moving on though?"

"I told you I'd still come to your wedding and now that I've passed I know it's happening, sue me for wanting to see someone have a happy ending after this dumpster fire of a war."

"Dead or alive, no one can sue you and win, even I know that. Might steal your kid though."

"What do you want with Morgan?"

"She's got your brain and probably your sass so that's a plus, though I was referring to Spiderkid but hey, if Morgan's on the table too..."

Tony chuckled. "Pepper wouldn't allow that, nice try though. I'll see you at the wedding then, and you can't hide it from me now."

"Fine you're officially invited but once it's over, you move on, end of." I tapped Tony's head with a bony finger and he dissipated, he wouldn't move on but he was absolutely not going to hover around me till the end of the wedding. I jumped off my horse then, patted her bony neck soothingly, and she dissipated as well, not to be seen or ridden by me till the next end of the world war or whatever. I spread out my arms and allowed myself to literally float back as living darkness to where Loki was before solidifying and returning to my normal form of a zombie queen. Everyone else was kneeling to honor Tony, that was our queue to leave just as a tasty looking green woman in black spiky leather decided to leave as well. 

"It's over?" Loki asked me quietly.

I nodded and turned to him. "Thanos is dust and all that came with him."

Loki looked over to the remaining Frost Giants around him. "The war is over, for the time being our realms will be safe, attend to the wounded and you can all go home and rejoice, thank you all for your service here, a king couldn't ask for a better class of warriors."

The Frost Giants bowed to him in respect and thanks and headed to the portal we came through, one of Loki's royal guards paused before following. "Will you not join us, my King?"

"I will continue to be in contact with the Volva and the Steward Skadi but I don't think I shall return for a while, a lot of loose ends to tie up from my time spent here before landing on Jotunheim, rest assured I will return though, if you and our people ever have need of me, both Skadi and the Volva know how to contact me from here."

The guard bowed his head in acknowledgement and followed the rest of the Giants, Elves, and Vanir that came through with us to fight, taking their wounded and dead with them, the portal sealing shut right after. We were home now, we were finally home.


	18. Truth Hurts

"What happened to you, brother?" 

Tonsberg, Norway or New Asgard as it had been renamed recently was a busy little village full of immortal aliens that resembled really pretty humans. We were currently seeing what we had missed being away from Earth so long and of course that meant seeing what's new with the God of Shitty Weather noises.

"You got fat!" I answered Loki before Thor could ask him the same back and couldn't stop the cackling, wondering how Loki could keep a straight face at the sight before him. Don't get me wrong here, depression is a very serious issue and people handle, cope, or drown in it in many different most likely not healthy ways. I wasn't laughing at depression though, I was laughing at a thousand year old god that was probably born with muscles like Hulk Hogan, thousands of years of muscles turned to fat in just however many years we've been gone, that struck me as funny, because for the longest time I was convinced Asgardians were made differently, like they never got fat because I never met a fat Asgardian before.

"I thought you had died, I saw him crush your neck!" wailed Thor in an attempt to make me stop laughing.

"What I wanted him to think so he wouldn't come after me, he needed to believe I died so he'd spare you, he was obsessed with only killing half of everything including Asgardian princes," Loki explained. "And you have a terrible poker face so I clearly couldn't let you in on the plan or at least one of us would die forever." Loki crossed his arms over his chest and arched an eyebrow at his brother and the ramshackle abode he was living in. "So this is what happens when I'm gone for a few years, is it? Your housemate is growing moss whilst you grow in mass."

"Hey now, I'm just here for moral support," the sentient rock formation known as Korg chirped. 

"Is it true what I heard, what I saw on the battlefield?" asked Thor quietly. "You're a king now?"

"Both you and your father were wrong about me, I was meant to be king, just not yours, which is a blessing as yours no longer exists while mine still stands firm. Not only am I king, but I brought the remaining realms together, united and without your father's methods of violence and submission, they united peacefully and willingly without any grudges or unneeded deaths involved. I suppose I have Odin to thank for that, all the things he taught me, he did so without realizing it as he was exceptionally good at teaching me by example how to be a terrible leader so I strove to do everything he didn't think of that led to his end."

"And yet you're here and not on your throne," grumbled Thor, not wanting to argue with Loki after just getting him back but not agreeing with Loki talking trash about their father.

"They know how to reach me if they need me and I have my most trusted people attending the castle in my stead, my realm is at peace and doesn't require my immediate attention," Loki brushed off. "But that isn't why we're here."

"It's not?" I spoke up. "I thought we came here to gloat and laugh at how wrong Thor was about you?"

"Noelle," Loki warned me though there was no real threat in his tone and I could totally see the edges of his lips twitch in a small smile. "We came to officially invite you to our wedding as what the Midgardians would call my best man."

Thor's eyes widened and started to water even. "Do you mean it, brother?"

"Loki I think you broke him, he's starting to leak," I murmured to Loki.

"That was always the plan," Loki continued. "Kill Thanos, then get married, and we're combining Noelle's Midgardian traditions with our own so bring one or two plus ones, it won't be a big ceremony."

"But why not?!" cried Thor. "This is a momentous occasion that should be celebrated in full!"

"That was always your thing, though, wasn't it? At least for a while it was. While I appreciate the sentiment, I've grown rather used to small celebrations on my behalf, besides I don't think a lot of people would like a big celebration when it concerns someone that started the invasions and wars."

"But you're a hero now, you're one of us!" bellowed Thor. "You helped save the universe, both of you did! And many were witness to it, surely that means something!"

"It means humans are idiots, hun, and you do not want to wrestle with an idiot as they will only drag you down to their level and slug you with experience," I explained. "There's no reasoning with them no matter what we did to atone for our sins."

Thor dropped back onto his trashy looking recliner with a displeased expression and grumbled. "Can I bring Brunhilda?"

"Only if she behaves and don't say she will if we will, this is our celebration we can do what we fucking want, she can't, nuff said," I answered first.

"I suppose that's fair enough. Thank you for coming to me personally to invite me, it means a lot that you'd still want to visit me."

"That means that you have to wear nice clothes though for the ceremony, you wore a sweatsuit to Tony's funeral, not cool," I warned him. "Dress nice or Peter gets the best man position instead."

"Parker or Quill?"

"Parker, dunno how I feel about Quill, a little ghost told me he's the reason the snap from Thanos happened the first time, don't care what his excuse was, it cost him half the universe so I vote him off the realms."

"I hope you change your mind on him, I plan to travel with him and his friends once everything else is settled," Thor informed me.

I glanced over at Loki for help because we both knew Thor was a big fat sensitive soul that still after a thousand years was desperate for acceptance. Loki just sighed and rolled his eyes before stepping forward. "We shall see. In the meantime though, find yourself a good ceremonial outfit, we'll send you the location of the wedding. I told you before, the sun will shine on us again, didn't I?"

Thor stared at Loki with an unreadable expression this time and then the waterworks returned. "I'm sorry I didn't listen to you, brother. I'm sorry my last words to you before we were separated were ones hurtful and careless, you've always been my voice of reason and logic, even as children and I still never listened to you. Well I'm listening now, now that you're alive and here and whole, I'm listening."

Loki gave his brother a small though sincere smile. "At long last, you've finally found your head."

"I would be more than honored to be your best man at your wedding and I will do my best to look the part, thank you for still keeping me in your heart after all this time."

"He's only cold on the outside," I told Thor. "Not all people are bastard coated bastards with bastard filling, some have a soft gooey center...and then some are just big squishy mallows with long blond dreadnoughts."

"Okay, Noelle, he gets the picture," Loki wrapped an arm around me and steered me out of the little cottage Thor lived in.

"Are you sure? Because I've not seen a single mirror in that place so he might not know."

"He's used his stomach to prop a bowl of dip up, that's not something he could do till recently."

"I once knew a woman with tits so massive she was able to balance two teacups on saucers on her chest perfectly, does that count?"

Loki laughed at the mental picture I painted for him. "Norns, how I love you."

"Prove it."


	19. Drinks All Around!

Noelle "Nell" Laufeyson. Did it have a ring to it? Sure as hell hope so, a ring with a shiny emerald resting on an Asgardian gold band to be specific, go green or go home. While I wanted nothing more than to be the god of mischief's wifey, I already knew I wouldn't ever get used to actually having a last name and sincerely hoped it wouldn't be a bad omen for me sharing the last name of my love who some mortals might still be butthurt over his little failed invasion ages ago. Thor of course wasn't entirely thrilled about it though, being the sensitive softy he was, he wanted to have another Odinson in the Royal family but Loki was firm in the surname change, he was king of his own realm where his own father ruled before him, it was already established when he was first crowned that he tossed that name and attachment aside to prove he was no son of a tyrant that made his people into monsters. Loki had to of course explain to Thor like a child that he never was the son of Odin in any sense and that he did all that for the greater good as he wouldn't have been accepted as the true king of Jotunheim with that surname still branded on him and wouldn't get remotely as far as he did. To prove his point, for all the marbles, he shifted to his true form right in front of Thor and asked him one more time if he was still Thor's brother. Naturally that broke Thor all over again, and men say women are the sensitive overemotional ones.

The wedding was held in Montana after a short pros and cons list between Loki and myself, Norway would've been the pick if Odin hadn't decided to die there first, ruining it for us both. While I usually hated winter and the cold, Loki thrived in it and it gave me the excuse to wear a furred, viking style wedding gown knowing how much Loki loved me in furs. As per viking tradition, my coven and best friend bathed me in a hot spring and helped me dress in my fancy fluffy gown then braided my hair. Meanwhile a very amusing tradition among Asgardians and vikings was going on with the men where a small race between Loki and Thor was started. Each were given a super strong Asgardian ale to drink, then they were given a sword to walk around twice before hauling ass through a wooded obstacle course, last to the finish line would have to serve everyone drinks all night long. Why do men have all the fun? Wasn't this supposed to be my day too? Oh right, us women also drank while getting ready. You would think Thor who was athletic since birth would win the race, you'd be wrong though and it wasn't just because he gained a fuckton of weight to slow him down, oh no. Between Loki being a master of tricks to slow Thor down from having tree roots pop up to trip or tree branches randomly snapping at him to the face Loki was just naturally a swift person, partially due to long legs of a Frost Giant. You can bet your ass Loki milked Thor for all he was worth in serving drinks. 

The ceremony itself though, you see weddings all the time, on TV, the movies, you might be invited to them a bunch, but it's an entirely different experience when it's yours. I looked at myself in the mirror, ready to walk down to meet my future hubby and almost didn't recognize the person staring back at me. She was beautiful, she wasn't just some corpse bride from the brilliantly gothic imagination of Tim Burton, she damn near looked alive. And she was me, and I was about to become the luckiest woman in all the realms, about to marry the god of my wildest adventures. 

"How do I look honestly?" I asked Zari who was watching me quietly, making sure everything was as perfect as possible for me.

"You look ready," she told me and squeezed my hand excitedly in reassurance. "Go get your man."

"What if I walk out there and fall on my face with this longass gown tangling my feet?"

"I got a spell for that, no one will see or remember it, don't you worry your pretty floral head."

I looked at her and couldn't help but hug her tightly. "I am super glad you weren't somehow killed off for good in my absence, I don't think I could stomach bringing you back. Also thank you for taking care of Lady for me. I was worried she'd get too fat or thin without a strict diet."

"Kitties before fitties as the brits would say," she assured me. "Let's go before he comes to his senses and decides he's better off single."

I snorted unladylike and stood up straight, smoothing out my green and gold furred gown, because I couldn't even remember at what age I stopped being a virgin so white was definitely out of the question of what color to dress in. I stepped out of the brides chamber and into the outdoor ceremony. On one side was Loki's people, Thor, a bunch of Asgardians, a few people from other realms we helped, Scott Lang because while he did try to attack us in our own home a few years prior, he genuinely seemed like a cool guy and really wanted to see what our wedding would be like, Peter Parker and his aunt May as well, Hawkeye, the few living Avengers I liked and trusted enough, and Brunhilda of course, aka Valkyrie. On my side was my coven of wiccans that pretty much adopted me when I moved into Salem with Loki, Gjalp under the disguise as a normal human, and of course Zari, the real surprise guest of course was our Justice of Peace who was looking entirely too smug, especially with Thor staring at him the entire time trying to wrap his head around the guest appearance. Three guesses who it was. If you guessed King Njord, you win a gold star. That smug look of course melted into one of adoration and awe when my music started and I stepped onto the start of the carpet rolled onto the ground for a ceremonial aisle leading to him and Loki. Loki of course took my nonexistent breath away in ceremonial green and gold armor, rather than his horned war helmet however, he settled for a more modest horned helm or crown like the one he wore as King of Jotunheim. Our eyes met as I walked to him and I froze, not out of fear or because Montana was colder than I expected, it just suddenly occurred to me he would be mine, like legally and legit mine, and that thought hadn't decided to sink in till now. And then I saw another guest of honor appear beside me and my legs nearly turned to jelly then and there.

"You got this, Nell. You're the Night Queen of iZombies remember, he's just a god standing in front of his woman, asking her to marry him," Tony assured me.

"You're seriously lucky my makeup is waterproof," I hissed under my breath. "I was not expecting that."

"That's why there's always copious amount of alcohol involved in weddings, I'm almost jealous I can't have any."

I smirked then and that's what got me moving toward Loki, humor was always my savior when things got too much. Tony of course walked me down the aisle unbeknownst to everyone but myself, not an easy feat because I was seriously going to miss him after this. I locked eyes with Loki once more and we both put a hand on the ceremonial sword.

"Hello, mortals and other!" Njord began. "We are here for what I've been told has been a long awaited occasion! On this day, two hearts become one, Loki Laufeyson and Noelle. They will be reciting their own vows to each other, and exchanging rings thereafter. Loki, you have the floor first."

Loki looked deeply into my eyes with so much love from his own. "Noelle, from the moment I first laid eyes on you, I knew I had to have you in any way you'd let me. You have been my strength, my closest friend, my greatest love, and my finest shieldmaiden and I couldn't ask for a better woman to spend the rest of my life with, because there are no better women for me than you are. I would kill for you and lay my life on my sword for you without question. With this ring, I pledge my life and my heart to you from this day till the end of days." He took my hand and slid on an even more bedazzling ring than the engagement tracker one.

"Noelle, now you," Njord instructed.

"Loki, god of mischief, merriment and many splendored things, since we've met you've made a usually dull and dragging afterlife a series of outstanding fun and adventures, even when we haven't even left our home, I'll never be bored with you. You were right back in Germany, there are no men like you, you are the only one that's ever made me feel alive again and not just metaphysically. An afterlife without you, only that would be true torture, only that would keep me six fit under and nothing in this verse can keep me from you for very long. This shiny piece of fitted metal seals that deal. Hand up if you agree." I took his hand and slid a wedding band on his ring finger as well. Loki tried to give me a disapproving look for being a total goof in my vows but this was me so he really should've known better. 

"You may now kiss your beloved!" bellowed Njord.

Loki cupped my face in one hand which dropped to tilt my chin up before dipping his head to kiss me in what started off as just sweet and short but neither of us felt that was really enough and it quickly turned hot and passionate, out of the corner of my ghostly vision I saw Tony clapping beside Njord before he dissipated into the afterlife as he promised. Cheers from Thor and his people followed by my people erupted from the pews as we were now officially hitched. We finally pulled away from each other then, holding each others hands still and beaming with joy.

"Can I have a go?" asked Njord jokingly, wiggling his eyebrows with a smirk.

"Yes!" I replied as Loki answered "No" at the same time, earning me a half hearted scowl from my husband, I just winked back at him playfully.

"We've been married for a mere minute and this already?" Loki noted.

"Sharing is caring," I teased back.

"Good thing I don't care then." He pulled me back against him for another kiss just to rub it in Njord's very amused face. "You look absolutely divine, darling."

"Not bad for a corpse bride, eh?" I replied cheekily. "You know for a dark god, you're pretty damn blinding with beauty yourself."

"Only for you, my love," he purred. "For only you are deserving of who I really am inside and out."

"Mmm, in and out, yes lots of that," I muttered already thinking of later activities seal the wedding deal. "But first, food, my second favorite four letter F word."

Loki chuckled and offered me his arm like the gentleman he was and led me to the people and feast that was awaiting us. He took up a chalice already full of Asgardian wine, standing at the head of the table and raised it in a toast. "Skol!" Everyone echoed him back happily and raised their own drinks. "Anything you want to add, love?"

I held up my own drink with a grin. "Drink up me hearties!"


	20. Two Dudes Walk Into a Lab

"Is the Project ready yet? Now that the variables have returned, we will have access to needed resources finally."

"Project Changeling is showing much progress since first initiated, the variable has merged with the source's base and has been accepted and activated."

"And will the Project respond according to what's been planned?"

"There has been no resistance or complications with the orders tested and given to it, everything is going according to schedule, we can move forward with the next phase after a few test runs just to be sure there's no glitches beforehand. Once we find where the resources are being housed, we can extract more for our needs and have more than enough for other test subjects."

"That's excellent news, Doctor. And no signs of interference with our schedule? No obstacles in the near future?"

"Offworld, dead, or otherwise far too occupied to even know this is going on, everything is completely cleared for us to continue our progress and activate the Project."

"Keep me informed if there's any changes, good or bad, that will be all, Doctor, keep up the good work."


End file.
